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Not sure if I should tell my friend I like her?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ogzltheeve, Feb 14, 2014.

  1. ogzltheeve

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    I have a hunch a friend of mine MIGHT possibly like me. Either the signs are VERY subtle or I'm flat out wrong and she's just being friendly. we've been in each other's class for 2 years but it wasn't until last year that we started to talk and hang out. We were inseparable last year. Whenever class use to end last semester we would wait for each other and walk each other out. she never really did that with anyone else. So every time class would end it was sort of awkward because it seemed like we were both stalling while we're packing our bags without making it obvious that we're waiting to walk each other out. Like we won't directly come up to each other and ask to walk each other. it's sort of like happens. and if on the days where we don't walk each other out or say goodbye she gets SLIGHTLY offended by it. This semester we don't have any class together and I knew she was upset about that. she would message me a couple times and tell me that she misses me. There were also several times when I wouldn't go to class and she would text me "miss you!!" None of my CLOSE friends do it as much as she does.

    I went out a couple weeks ago and she was offended that I didn't ask her to go out so the following week she texted me and asked if i was going out and so we both went out with our mutual friends. she seemed a little overly dressed. and she also seemed a little jealous that another friend of ours kept talking to me. she got really drunk that night and ended up vomiting and I had to help her the entire night. we seem to be attached to each other in a way that isn't so obvious. I just get certain vibes from her that make me question the possibility that she might like me. I can't really explain it... she also indirectly stated that she's bi-curious. She said "I feel like every girl is bicurious." We're both girls by the way and she knows that i'm lesbian. Today she messaged me this morning Happy Valentines day with a bunch of emoticons. I messaged her back and she ended up uploading our conversation to her instagram and put " <3 she made my day! love of my life" I know we're close but we're not that close. And I know that the signs are very subtle if not almost non-existent. And that's probably because she has a boyfriend who she's almost been with for a year. bummer. She doesn't know that I like her. and it's been killing me since she's been stringing me on a little. I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like I can't be her friend without liking her. Should I tell her I like her?
     
  2. ogzltheeve

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    Just to add on a couple things I forgot to mention. That day we went out with friends, one of our mutual friends was telling me how she kept asking for me and if I was going to show up. yet she didn't text me and asked if I was. and that night that we went out me and her drove to the bar and on our way there she mentioned how I'm pretty much the reason why she enjoys going to New Paltz now (the college that we both go to) I wouldn't have guessed that's what she thought. but ever since we became friends I guess that's when we both started enjoying our time in college more. After helping her that night from being drunk she posted on her twitter the next day "be my lover, my lady river" (which is a song) maybe she didn't direct it to anyone but I thought it might've been directed towards someone...

    There was also a time when we were driving back home and there was a love song on the radio and when she changed the station she said "i'll be thinking about you" in a joking tone. the next day we had off from school but she left a comment on my facebook "I MISS YOU! This no class together thing just isn't fair"
     
    #2 ogzltheeve, Feb 14, 2014
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2014
  3. silverhalo

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    Yeah I definitely see why you think there might be something in it, but I also get that you are not sure. It's always difficult when relationships have potential with friends.
    How do you think she would react of you told her you liked her? Eve if she didn't return the feelings?
     
  4. ogzltheeve

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    Thanks for your response! I don't think she'll be upset if i told her. But i think our friendship might be a little awkward after i tell her. I might tell her at the end of the semester of school because chances are I probably won't see her much once we're done with college. I'm also still debating on whether or not it's even worth telling her...because she's in a relationship and she's obviously trying to make it work. so what's the point in me telling her? I mean I do wanna get it off my chest but i'm unsure if it's the right thing to tell her while she's already taken. :confused:
     
    #4 ogzltheeve, Feb 15, 2014
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2014
  5. silverhalo

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    Well as she is taken I obviously wouldn't advise making a move. My only thought on waiting is if you are not going to see each other afterwards then might it be too late. You have the best insight into the situation so what you think is best, probably is best. I guess it depends how easy it will be to just keep it inside until then.
     
  6. ogzltheeve

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    my initial gut reaction was to tell her but when i stepped back and looked at the big picture i realize that the chances are very slim - if not non-existent - of it working out between us because she's already in a relationship. in any case maybe she actually does like me but doesn't want to ruin what she has. worst case scenario - she doesn't see me that way at all. those are really the only 2 options. I know they're relationship is a bit rocky at times, as they've broken up and argued. From what I got out of those arguments was that he was disrespectful to her. and when they were arguing i realized she would text me and try to make future plans with me (like going on vacation and hanging out). which now that i'm looking back on that i find it messed up. because she never followed through those plans. it's as if she only said that because they were fighting.

    Sorry if i'm going on a little rant...It's just all coming at me at once. I really appreciate your help. you do have a point about keeping things inside because i do tend to keep a lot of things to myself and it usually ends up backfiring. as of now i'm going to keep it to myself because it's still early in the semester and i don't want this to be a distraction for the remainder.