Hai one and all I've started dating a guy, who I really, really love. I'm out to practically everyone but he isn't I know I've asked a similar question about an ex in the past but this is more specific. His mom know and so does all of his friends but his dad is a major homophobe...and Isn't subtle about it...He is constantly shouting some really bad shit and it obviously hurts my bf. I don't know how well my bf would be able to handle the things that his dad would say to him if he found out, I told him i would always be here for him, But any advice on how i should treat a subject like this if shit were to go down?? Anything is appreciated, thank y'all
If his dad were to find out then just be supportive of your boyfriend. Make sure he knows how much you need and value him and that he is loved. I hope everything works out
I would be careful. I assume he's a teen and still living at home. Some parents have been known to kick their teen out when they find out they are gay. Here's hoping the best for both of you.(*hug*)
I advise caution. If his dad is vocally homophobic, it can get really bad quickly if your bf were to come out. No, it is not fair, and I wish parents could at least pretend to be adults for their kids sake and act responsibly. Be there for him, comfort him. Sadly, no matter how resilient you both are, these comments and experiences will stay with for a long time, you may want to think about support resources in your area or at school.
Definitely make sure you are not his only support person outside the home. Great that mom is aware, but making the choice between a spouse and a child is brutal and there's no way to know which way she'll fall when shit hits the fan. Note I say "when", not "if". Cuz it is gonna happen eventually. Don't go speeding it along, just be prepared. Support, encourage, love, and make sure you're not the only one standing ready to catch him when he needs help.
I'm guessing by his age that he most likely still lives at home. I would advise him not to come out until he's older and has a place to stay just in case anything were to happen. If his dad does find out just be there for him, because I'm sure he'll have a rough time.
If possible, let him know that he has a place to live if things go bad and that he can stay with you for as long as he needs to.
