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At Least Valentines Day was uplifting....

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by dmarc92, Feb 15, 2014.

  1. dmarc92

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    If you havent read my other thread "Closure ??" than you wont understand the entire situation at hand.

    Anyway. Im in love with this guy but he and my best friend were involved. So I came here for some advice, and I got some quality guidance I should say. But before I could act on anything, the guy Im in love with and my best friend decided to become an item. Now Im kind of sad because I really dont want to ruin their relationship because of my feelings. SO the next option was to move on... but considering Ive tried it before, time and time again, Im back to asking for advice.

    How does one get over a person that they're in love with??

    But on the plus side I had a fun Valentines Day and I hope everyone else did too!

    If anyone has questions I suggest reading my previous thread "Closure ??", there you might find a lot of answers to questions that might have already been asked. Thank You for your help.

    ---------- Post added 15th Feb 2014 at 10:13 AM ----------

    and by "get over" I dont mean stop loving him because thats impossible but I just want to be able to not always day dream about him or wonder what it couldve been like if I told him how I felt sooner, etc.
     
  2. mbanema

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    It seems like I am drawn to your threads. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    In my experience there are three ways to move on:

    1. You find out something negative about the person you like that changes the way you feel about them. I've found this results in an even crappier feeling of doubting your own judgment though. Who wants to spend a huge amount of time caring about someone only to find out they're not worthwhile?

    2. You find someone else that catches your eye. This is by far the most ideal situation, especially if you have a better chance with this person. It's easier said than done though; if you're anything like me there's probably a lot of people you find physically attractive, but only a few that you develop strong feelings for. There's no way to force this.

    3. You give it time. I know I'm always skeptical of this every time I end up having a crush on a guy, but you really will start to move on eventually. It's not easy, but you're not doomed to dwell on this forever.
    Bonne chance. Glad you enjoyed your Valentine's Day. :slight_smile:
     
  3. jonnemack

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    You onley get over aperson you love with time.

    Once I was in love with my best friend that was straight and it ended terribly. That was back in 2010 and now I am 100% over it and ready for another love story. Not that I forgot him, I guess I still have feelings for him, but my mind tells me: "impossible".

    Anyhow, idk if the rules permit, but help me with my thread. Thanks in advance.

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...not-so-well-planned-but-still-valid-work.html
     
  4. dmarc92

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    Hey mbanema !! Im glad youre drawn to my threads :icon_bigg you help a lot. And thank you for the variety in choices. I doubt I'll be able to succeed in the third option, but I could always give the other two a go.

    And thanks Jonnemack for the advice. Im sure I'll get past this but I know it'll take some time. Im grateful you replied and shared your knowledge from experience. Im young and not very good at helping others with their problems but I'll check out your thread :thumbsup:
     
    #4 dmarc92, Feb 15, 2014
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2014
  5. jonnemack

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    Thanks Dmarc, it will be very very good if you answer. No matter what's your opinion, I just want to hear from everyone. My situation is quite complicated ^^
     
  6. mbanema

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    I should caution that #1 really was not intended as an option that you seek out, just a possible way that you might get over someone. You should always try to see the good in people, not the reverse. In my mind you should pursue #2 and if that doesn't work out right away #3 will happen on it's own. :slight_smile:

    It's also important to come to the understanding that you don't have to be in a relationship to find happiness. That certainly doesn't mean you shouldn't try to find someone, but you don't have to desperately seek someone out. When the moment is right, it will happen naturally. Again, like everything else I've suggested, easier said than done, but this is an important one.
     
  7. dmarc92

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    Yea I guess youre right. I dont really want to be in a relationship (at least not with anyone else) and Im tired of all the stress that comes with being involved with another. I honestly wish I could completely lose feelings for him at times but, thats not gonna happen and maybe this entire experience will be refreshing for me in the end ! I'll just try to stay positive and attempt to move on. Thanks again !!