I casually told my brother I am gay recently. He seemed to accept it at first but then he started to ask me a lot of questions and make comments implying that I am just confused. He doesn't seem to believe that I am sure of who I am. I plan to meet up with him tomorrow to discuss this one on one and clarify everything for him. Any tips on making this less awkward as possible? We don't usually talk about stuff like this with each other.
Just be completely honest and say everything on your mind. EVERYTHING. Just say "I know you think I'm confused, but I'm not. This is who I am and this is who I have been forever." Ask him if he has any questions. The hardest part is over, so don't worry too much. He's your brother! It's not like you are trying to explain this to a complete stranger. The good news is that he didn't flip out. He sounds like he's accepting, just sort of a shock.
Yeah, the hardest part is definitely over thank God. I just need to relax a little bit. I did imagine him to be accepting and he was but I wasn't ready for the "How do you know?" and "Maybe you are confused" comments from him. That rattled me a bit and caught me off guard because it's something I've known for over 15 years so to be questioned like that is kind of frustrating. He is the first person I have ever come out to. I live in a very homophobic country and it's very dangerous to be openly gay here in the Caribbean. I guess he is just worried and wants to make sure that I'm sure.
Your brother sounds exactly like my sister honestly. She says she is accepting, but thinks I am confused and keeps asking how I know. In my opinion, there isn't really anything that you can say to "prove it." You just know. Try to explain to him it's the same way he knows he likes girls. You can't really explain it, you just know. I'm going to be honest, he probably won't get what you mean. With time though, he will realize that this isn't just a phase or confusion. Just remember that you don't have to prove anything to him.
I guess I just have to be patient with him. You are right though, I really can't say anything to "prove it". I did tell him it is something I just know just like he knows he likes girls. I don't get what's so hard for him to understand about it to be honest but I guess full acceptance will come in time.
You're an adult, so really the only confused one is your brother. I agree that you should turn the tables and ask him how he can prove he is straight. Tell him also you are still the same person he knew, but now he knows you better.
Yeah, definitely he's the one confused. I'll try to reassure him that nothing about me has changed and that he just knows me better now.
Sometimes siblings freak out because they are worried it could happen to them as well. He probably won't verbalize it that way tho... (I suppose in a way it's a sign people are starting to accept it's something genetic/that we're born with).
I agree with everyone else. Regardless of your sexuality, it's visceral. You just know it. Also, you could show him this video to help him understand. [YOUTUBE]QJtjqLUHYoY[/YOUTUBE]
THANKS so much for all your support guys. We had a heart to heart talk last night and he totally accepts me. I was able to relate my fears to him and he was really supportive and I think he understands now that this is the way I am. It doesn't matter to him that I'm gay, I'm still his brother and he loves me.
Yay congrats!! (*hug*) When I came out to my brother, he thought I was asexual or confused. He asked me tons of weird/unnecessary sexual questions :eusa_naug
thats good to hear just had the same type of convo with my brother before i joined this forum i'm glad yours went well too
Yeah, I can relate. At first my brother thought I was confused and asked me a lot of weird/unnecessary sexual questions too. :eusa_naug I'm glad he accepts me now. ---------- Post added 18th Feb 2014 at 05:46 PM ---------- I am so happy that it went well for you too. This has been a good day.
