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Straight woman falls in love with a lesbian and needs advice

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by jennajay82, Feb 16, 2014.

  1. jennajay82

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    I am straight, or thought I was, until I met with this gorgeous woman at work. She was really into me, at first I didn't think she could be gay as she was so feminine ( yeah I know stereotypes) but as I get to know her better, I had some clues that she may be gay. She's not out (at least at work) so I didn't ask her and I won't directly, but I am pretty sure that she is gay and she knows I am not, she'll never ask me out that's why I wanna ask her out. I know she likes me from all the flirty signs she sends, and we are all touchy at work. My FIRST question is if I her ask out for dinner, how should I make clear that this is not a friendly dinner :slight_smile: SECOND question: how should I bring the topic u at the dinner, I really don't want her to get stressed and feel obliged to make an explanation. What should I do or say? My THIRD question is, I really developed strong feelings for her, but I am not sure whether I should tell how strongly I feel, or should I leave at the I like you very much level? I feel like I may have to say more because I've never been with a woman before and she may need some assurance that my feelings for her are much more than liking level. You don't have to answer all 3 but please help...
     
  2. Seagypsy

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    Firstly, congrats! I've fallen for a coworker too, even though I've only realised I was bisexual for about five years and only liked two other girls before in recent years, but my feelings for this one are really strong... I texted her and she loved it! So I say go for it :slight_smile:
     
  3. Rosepetal

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    go for it !
     
  4. silverhalo

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    So has she actually told you she is gay?
     
  5. jennajay82

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    I wish she did , at least there would be one thing out of the way. While I was getting to know her, I remember her bringing up LGBT topics, or a story that involves people that are gay, but as I had no clue what was going on, I don't remember what answer I've given :frowning2: , nothing offensive I know, but I didn't say anything encouraging. Now I understand that she was just testing waters. Let's say I did some digging and I trust my feelings. I am not %100 percent sure, but still I am thinking about going for it. The question is how should I do it and how much I should share about my feelings.
     
  6. Rosepetal

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    say hey can we hang out without dumb boys around us? maybe seeing a funny movie or going to dinner ?
     
  7. silverhalo

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    Well I guess it depends how much you want to put out in the open. I mean if you really want to make it clear you could invite her to dinner etc and then say something like. I've always wondered what it would be like to be with a girl. Or something like that.
    I guess you could bring up loads of LGBT topics a bit like she did. Or you could say 'I was on this LGBT forum at the weekend and..........'.

    It depends how you feel most comfortable approaching the situations.

    I suppose you could ask her if she knows any good LGBT bars or something like that?
     
  8. Pret Allez

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    I say go for it. Bringing up queer topics is generally a tactic we use to try and probe about someone else's tolerance and safety to be around, or if we're interested in them, their sexual orientation. So I would say this is probably a case of a lesbian or bisexual woman probing you for information to see if you're "safe."

    It sounds like you are, even if you think of yourself as straight. I totally respect that, and I know of straight women who have had sex with other women and really enjoyed it. If you find you might actually play for "our" team, more power to you as well.

    Why don't you see where it goes, Jenna?
     
  9. jennajay82

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    hahaha actually I've never felt this much passion even for a man, so I believe that makes me "not straight". She's all I can think about, I can definitely change teams for her and for good :slight_smile: That's why I am so determined to take a step, but I have no clue how to do that, I've never been in that situation before. I know she'll understand what my intentions are when I ask her out for dinner, so I am thinking about slipping a sentence into a casual conversation "why don't I take you out for dinner sometime next week" . We have this special vibe between us, we are definitely aware of what's going on, but she's not taking step as she thinks I am straight, and most probably thinking I am just flirting with her for fun. That's why I feel like I have to take the first step and make clear that I am not interested in her as a friend, or for fun but still not sure how to put into words or actions
     
  10. silverhalo

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    That sounds like a good plan. Sounds like you are having great fun.
     
  11. kessiej

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    Definitely go for it!!! There's nothing worse than liking someone, thinking they feel the same way and not one of you does anything about it. Good luck xxx
     
  12. Hartofgold

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    Youve got nothing to lose, go for it! good luck :slight_smile:
     
  13. lovely lesbian

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    I agree go for it see what happens
     
  14. Lilli

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    I have nothing to add but this DID make me smile. Good luck! :slight_smile:
     
  15. kessiej

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    Did you manage to ask her out to dinner??? :kiss:
     
  16. AmiBee

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    Go for it and good luck. If you haven't already asked her out just say you'd really like to take her to dinner, just the two of you, so you can get to know her better.