So I took a short month break from EC and got back today, and a lot happened.... Well Im sure as you could figure out if you went through some of my old threads and post that I was having some boyfriend troubles.... Well... I broke up with him. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.. Ever... My heart still aches now and I tear up at the thought of him. I still sometimes feel like it was a mistake and that I should go back because he is the only one I can see myself with in the future... I was.. I am, in love with that man but I felt so much pain... Since that had happened I met someone.... Someone in real life, at my school.. Not 800+ miles away. I can literally tell and feel the difference in my life. I'm not conceded and hidden away anymore. I'm outgoing, nice, and active again. Even my friends have noticed a change in the good direction. I am legitimately a better person since I've known this guy. He makes me feel worth it, he makes me feel so special and happy. We share so many interests and does a lot for me. It's obviously easy to tell who is better here, but for some reason I still really really want my old bf back... I still have such a huge attraction towards him and I don't know why... I need helppppp
Hey man, welcome back! I think you did the right thing breaking up with your bf. You didn't seem happy or fulfilled. And I'm really happy that you found someone new who makes you happy and you can see face-to-face! But I get what you're feeling toward your ex. I truly believe that when you love someone that much, a small part of you never fully stops loving that person. And that's ok. That part of you will get smaller as time goes on, but just be ok with the fact that it's there. Take care, The user formerly known as biwinning (yeah, some shit has happened in the time you've been gone)
I'm fairly new around here and have quite a bit of catching up to do. but, regarding still having feelings for you ex bf, it is normal and expected. take me for example, 23 years later I still remember my bf and sometimes wonder.... what if. but the thing is, the mind does terrible things to is sometimes. on the one hand, it let's us remember only the good parts, and on the other hand it let's us remember only the bad parts. the goal is to wrestle the mind into sublission so you get to keep as much of the whole picture as you can so you can move forward in life while keeping your past in the proper perspective.
You need to sit down and talk to your current bf about this. I feel as though your relationship with him is very healthy and life changing, but if youre still hurt about your ex than it could be crucial to your current relationships. Im not saying this will completely burn down your current relationship and ruin everything but Im saying, its normal to still have feelings for your ex but I dont believe its healthy to be in a second relationship while youre still hurting because of your first. Im no expert so this is just my opinion. I think you should have a conversation with your current bf because it seems he's done a lot for you and helped you change for the better which is nice to hear. So maybe he could help you get through this better than anyone here can, especially since he knows you better. I hope you over come this lust for your ex.
First off, it sounds like you met a really awesome guy, and are very lucky that he makes you feel that way. On getting over your ex and the breakup, I think it's perfectly normal what you're feeling towards him right now, it's sort of a "what if" kind of thing, if what I felt is the same thing. You kind of question about what you did wrong. Sometimes, relationships just don't really work out, and after a while, you will learn that the things you are feeling now will be thoughts you don't even give a second glance a few years from now, or maybe even sooner. You can always try to keep a friendship, if you choose to do so with your ex, and maybe just talking to them on a friends only basis will help you heal. I'd maybe talk to who you're with now, and see if they could help you any. Also, this video helped me a lot with not necessarily a relationship breakup, but a crush that ended very badly. [YOUTUBE]0Mn31o036Gs[/YOUTUBE] Hope this helped.
UPDATE: I really dont know what to do.... I really like this new guy, he has changed me so much in a good way but i miss my ex so so much... I seriously loved him and still do love him, I still only see a future with him... He is still the one I want. Why can't I get over him... I miss his love... I miss him... I don't know what to do guys :'(
If he was your first, then you're going to most likely have a difficult time getting over him because he's the only real relationship you've known and enjoyed. Trying new things out, especially at your young age, will be very helpful and beneficial. My bet is that when you're 18-20, you'll look back and laugh at your infatuation. Enjoy your new guy!
I cant propose any other option than discussing this with your current boyfriend. If you still have feelings for your ex it could affect your relationship with the guy your with now. I suggest talking to your current boyfriend about your feelings for your ex, and it seems to me that he's a great guy and maybe he can help you get over you obsession with your ex. This is the only advice I have to offer. From my perspective it seems like the best idea. And if you cant work through this with your boyfriend then Im sure you'll discover a new way to get over your ex. Youre young so this probably wont last forever, just take it day by day. I wish you best of luck.
Hey Jake, Nice to see you back! We never forget our first loves, never. There's a song by Cat Stevens called The First Cut is the Deepest, and that's what letting go is...bittersweet. Perhaps you can think of it this way: your love for each other was a gift, not something you could ever "own". If you think of your love as service to each other, as devotion rather than something you may both have "possessed", then letting go can be just as beautiful as the love you shared. We all need to learn how to let go, so that we can finally say for the first time: he was truly mine. Love your memory of him. That story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. It is something for you to have and keep forever, don't try to go back; it won't work I assure you. Enjoy your new friend as a gift, not as a possession...glory in his presence as you would upon seeing a beautiful sunset, that's what love is, nothing more, nothing less.
