Here’s the thing. I’ve met this girl in Summer 13, we both are in the same sports team. We never really talked and I always thought she didn’t like me. Both of us are somewhat shy but are able to talk to others and joke around with others. So this was weird as well. We’ve been out before with our team, having fun with each other, talking a lot since both of us were drunk. Nothing happened that night. I just was kinda confused that out of the blue she wanted to hang and dance with me the whole night when we don‘t even talk let alone look at each other like ever. After this night we went out again with another team mate, was all very fun, but nothing happened. I asked her if she’d like to hang out again, she said yes but we never managed to do that because even after the nights out we couldn’t talk to each other well. There was a bit more communication between the two of us, we tried and sometimes even shared a good laugh but that’s it. This all happened in autmun/winter 2013. I have to admit I fell for that girl that time but would brush it off as in „nothing will happen anyway“. Still it was always really weird between the two ofus. We were looking for excuses to talk to each other. You could really notice one of us thinking about saying something just to talk to each other but it was so difficult that most of the time we just didn’t talk. We would not look at each other but if it happened by accident she turned lobster-red and grinned widely. I didn’t know what to make out of all of this. Maybe she was too shy, maybe she wasn’t interested. I mean I don’t even know wether she’s into women or not. Now something strange happened: a few days ago we went partying with our team again. We were preglowing at a team mate’s place and she always wanted me to drink. Every time I emptied my glass she asked me to fill it again and she did. She also said „I think the only way to bear these people is getting drunk“ cause we were talking about how people can be silly when they’re drunk and especially the guys from the male sports team were really silly. She also said we are the only normal people here. When we went first thing she’d do was linking arms with me and whenever I staggered she would push me into her side. Before we went to the club we were at some bar, she was sitting between a guy and me and sometimes I was talking to that guy and it was very obvious that he’s into me so whenever I talked to him she was like: „You want to change places?“ and I was like: „NO! I’m perfectly fine with were I’m sitting.“ In the club we were dancing on our own next to each other, the other girls were at another place in the room. It was fine, no heavy touching, just sometimes accidentally brushing each other’s arms. At some point they were playing Perrys „I kissed a girl“ and I just had to go to the other girls. I couldn’t bear dancing next to her to that song. So I was dancing with the girls like in a crowd, so she followed, put her arm around my waist and I did as well. Then we were dancing like that. WTF. When we left for another club she was walking right behind be, kinda holding onto my back so I reached out and took her hand in mine. In the other club it wasn’t too cramped like in the other so we had lots of space anyhow we did dance VERY close. Like you do with someone you have the hots for. Sometimes we had our arms around each others waists when we were standing in front of each other, I also could feel her face on my neck/throat. I sometimes hugged her with my hand around the side of her neck. We were even holding hands with intertwined fingers. The only thing we didn’t do was kissing – this was like the thing that was missing to make the picture complete. But apart from that we were SO close with resting our heads in each others necks and stuff. Then the guy I mentioned before asked me to get something to drink and I was fine with it, he was nice so why not? So we were heading to he bar but when I came back with him she were gone. No one knew about it, she didn’t say goodbye or anything. Next day I texted her, asking if everything’s fine cause she left and she responded with „Yes, sorry… How was partying?“, I complained about the stupid drunks and said we could meet without these people if she’d like to and she said: „It’s a good idea to do something without all of the rest.“, I asked her when she’d be free and she said that apart from that one weekend she’s free. I wasn’t brave enough to precisely ask her about a certain day so I only wrote „Okay, so we can when there’s time and then talk about it again“. That was the end of the conversation. I don’t know what to make out of all of this. I’m so confused. I mean I know for a fact that she likes me, interaction has proven it, I just don’t know in what way. If we’d been in friendly terms with each other before I wouldn’t read too much into it, but because we rarely talk makes all of this so weird. I’m afraid it comes to nothing again because of us being shy. I’m afraid of scaring her away… And also the fact that we are in the same team doesn’t make it easy. You don’t want to blow such things. We have to function as a part of the team. Then again she didn’t seem to care about the others seeing us two all fond of each other at least it didn’t seem so. I also don’t know how to act around her when in team and training. I don’t know what to say and if it’s fine to look at her and smile and stuff like that. But I so want to get to know her cause I think she’s really gorgeous. Se yeah, don’t know what to do. Help me with some advice, please. :/ I'm falling hard for her again. This sucks.
I think you should try and spend some time with her away from training and team stuff. Ask her if she wants to go to the movies or bowling or something. I know it's difficult when you are both shy but the more time you spend around each other the easier it will become. You can ask her for a drink if you think it will make it easier.
Saw her in practice today. It was weird again. Couldn't look at each other. She indeed sometimes took the opportunity to joke with me but that was rare and maybe it was just because she felt the need to at least say something like an obligation. So I don't wanna see things where there aren't. Gonna see her not until next week (so she has no time this week) so I don't know what to do. It's just like the last time again. I don't want it like that. I feel like I have the right to know what's going on/if something's going on. So I could wait til next week and ask her if she wants to meet or I could ask her via text what's going on. But that would be awkward, wouldn't it?
Well maybe you could start sending a couple of text and just be friendly to start with. As you say you are both shy perhaps it would be a good way to become a bit more familiar and the. You can work towards asking her what's going on. I think if someone who didn't usually text me just sent one asking what was going on I might not feel like opening straight up.
Okay, so I've decided to ask her this saturday if she's free next weekend (02.28/03.01). And then wait and see. Or is this too soon to ask?
Soooo, I just asked her. Gonna have a night out next week. Asked her if we also could meet during the week and she said "If it doesn't get out of hand too much then yeah, sure ". She seemed very happy I asked her. Still I don't know if this is considered to be a date or a friendly encounter. Do you have any idea how I could ask her in a subtle way what kind of meet up this is?
I just wanted to let you know that this meet up turned out to be - indeed - a date. I told her I liked her when I was a bit tipsy and she told me that she felt the same but would've never had the courage to tell me... Another thing: she'd never felt something for a women and been with one before. This also means that there's always hope and you never know with whom they fall for.
