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I don't know what I'm feeling for this guy

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by thequietone, Feb 17, 2014.

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  1. thequietone

    thequietone
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    Hey guys, I have a situation I really need help with. Before I begin I wanna say I have little experience when it comes to dating and am a little awkward. So I met this guy like last week, we went on our first date to the beach saturday. It was nice, we did do a lot of walking since neither of us have a car. But, I'd say it was a good date. Before the date and after we text quite a bit(with some flirting here and there). Surprisingly, we have a lot in common. The thing is though, since our date I'm confused with my feelings for him. Like, when I was with him on our date I kinda just felt like "meh". But when we had some alone time we would kiss and i'm not gonna lie, the kissing was pretty awesome. We took pictures in a booth together and towards the end of the date we lied on the grass in a secluded part of the beach and kissed quite a bit. I guess I should say he was kissing me, he was even commenting on how bad of a kisser I was but he didn't mind at all, he admits he's not very good himself(tho I really couldn't tell). Anyways, when we would kiss I'd get rock hard and there was some precum here and there. So, that was great. But when we aren't kissing I don't know what it is, like I didn't get butterflies in my stomach when I was with him and I don't get excited when I get a text from him(unless it's funny or something). But lately I have been fantasizing about him sexually. I just get turned on when I think about him. We have a date planned for this saturday at his place, mostly just gonna play xbox or whatever, but in the back of my mind its like what im really looking forward to is that it might get sexual. It feels kinda wrong tho, like I just want him for sex.
    I honestly don't know what to do, should I just wait and see how this next date goes?
     
    #1 thequietone, Feb 17, 2014
  2. Smoochies

    Smoochies Guest

    Aww, I envy you :slight_smile: It seems your date were pretty good! I think you have a little mind blown. Go with the flow!
     
    #2 Smoochies, Feb 17, 2014
  3. jonnemack

    jonnemack
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    I envy you too honestly. That's the real bromance, I can say. Having a guy that you can do man stuff and also kiss, hug, cuddle and have sex, why not?

    Feelings come with time, if you ain't desperate for him or anything, it is actually a good sign. In my mind, love is made of passion and friendship, the physical attraction and the emotional attachment.

    One thing may come after the other. Just give it some time.

    Go ahead, you're in the right way.
     
    #3 jonnemack, Feb 17, 2014
  4. resu

    resu
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    Didn't you say you had a lot of things in common? I think maybe you're worried the sex will somehow dominate and spoil the relationship, which doesn't have to be the case. Sex is a valid form of expressing love for someone else. Whatever you do on Saturday, make sure that he is comfortable with it so it doesn't seem like you're pushing him.
     
    #4 resu, Feb 17, 2014
  5. dmarc92

    dmarc92
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    From my understanding you're not really romantically connecting with him? And it seems youre fairly innocent sexually, not saying youre a virgin but you seem quite... virgin-like haha!

    So I dont think you should continue the relationship. To be frank. It seems you really have no connection at all, all you want is sex. Which is fine but I wouldnt encourage going deeper into a relationship for just sex. Unless both parties are only interested in strictly sex. If you know that he's looking for an actual relationship, then I suggest ending that possibility. It would kind of hurtful, since you two have already gotten to the kissing stage but it seems necessary. Because you would rather just tell him now that youre not exactly interested in this relationship unless its just for sex, instead of when you both already labeled each other boyfriends. Im not sure if Im making much sense but thats how I see it.

    If you both agree to keep this relationship for purely sex than I so GO FOR IT :thumbsup: but if he's looking for a relationship than I suggest ending the entire thing. It seems like you two would make great friends but not a healthy couple.
     
    #5 dmarc92, Feb 17, 2014
  6. thequietone

    thequietone
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    Lol your right I am a virgin(with guys anyway). I see what your saying....but you don't think I should go for the second date? I mean, I kinda already agreed to it and it's not me to just go back on my word. I do understand what you mean though, he's a nice guy and everything and I don't want to hurt him. I guess it's possible that I'm feeling the way I am because I'm scared of falling for him, mostly because I think what happens if this gets really serious? I don't know if I'm ready for a gay relationship. Hell, I don't know if Im ready for a straight relationship to be honest. It just feels nice having someone hold and kiss me again....something I haven't had in a long time.
     
    #6 thequietone, Feb 17, 2014
  7. mbanema

    mbanema
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    If you don't feel you're ready for a relationship then maybe it makes sense to break it off, but otherwise I say go for it and give the guy a chance. You definitely shouldn't try to force something that's not there, but it's not always love at first sight. Take advantage of the opportunity to get to know him a little more and see what happens. :slight_smile:
     
    #7 mbanema, Feb 17, 2014
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