So I've met this incredibly sweet man after having been in an abusive relationship for the last 4 years (up until a few months ago). Problem is, New Guy is 100% closeted (except for the few guys he's been with). But we both feel this ridiculous connection and are really into each other on so many levels... he ticks all my boxes. But, yeah... he's getting way ahead of himself and talking about what would happen if things work out long term. That is, he would need to come out because he wants his partner to be integrated into his life. But he says due to religious and cultural reasons he can never come out to his family, and that his friends would feel lied to because he hasn't come out to them sooner and so they would abandon him. So in this envisioned future, his whole life falls apart, basically. I'm at a complete loss as to what to do. My mind says 'leave it, step back, move on', but my heart just goes crazy for him. He makes me feel so damn special, and he makes me want to skip and smile and laugh. To clarify, I would never tell or even advise him to come out. That is not for me to decide. My first boyfriend (when I was 14) demanded I come out, which I did, and it really wasn't the right time for me. :help:
I am kinda in the same situation ( http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...not-so-well-planned-but-still-valid-work.html) because I like a guy and I don't feel exactly the need to come out to everyone I know, except for him! You might call me crazy, but I really believe in true love and all the magic involved. all I can say you is that you should embrace that love, mister. Doesn't matter his personal condition, keep it in secret for as long as he is ready if that's what he needs. Develop this relationship till the point you're up to tell him to slowly come out, no matter how many YEARS does it take. Sometimes people ain't ready, like I am not ready right now. I see people of 13 here in this forum telling stories about comming out and I really envy their courage. But for me is healthy for now to stay closeted, until I have everything under my control and my comming out experience won't be so hard. We all have the right to be happy and not suffer. Why would he choose to suffer right now a hard experience if he can wait till everyone around him is ready? And himself as well.
