catching feeling for my best friend. I know...the usual...

Alright guys, I need some help. I’ve recently come out to a few close friends of mine and no one has any problems with it. I’ve been in love with my best friend of 10 years but nothing ever happened between us (she knew I was attracted to her). I’ve dealt with seeing her with her girlfriend for 5 years and it has SUCKED! I made a more recent friend about a year ago now and we have become very close. SO much so that it has taken much of my attention off of my first best friend. I have developed feelings for her and I can’t help but think she has feelings too. The only thing is she is “straight”. So she says… She’s been stuck on this scumbag guy and I’ve been helping her through it. We are together just about every day, tell each other everything, we do anything and everything for each other, we tell each other “I miss you” and have nick names for one another. We are always asked if we are together, even my boss had until the other day thought we were a couple (he knows I like chicks), she wants to move in with me, we cuddle, we share everything. Recently she was asked by a gay friend of my first best friend if she was the lesbian (of the two of us) and I said “no that’s me”, the girl said “oh I would have thought it was you”(to my friend), she asked her if she was and she said “idk” and was hesitant to answer. Not sure if that makes sense but I felt like she kind of admitted it in an indirect way. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but I really feel a connection with her and I would appreciate any type of advice or opinions.:help:

 

Well this isn't very reassuring. I hope at least someone can give me some advice. This is my first time on this site, I specifically joined because of my dilemma. Help me out guys!

 

I'm not sure what would happen. That's what I'm scared of. I'm terrified it will change our friendship. But I guess it could be a good change. Of course she has said I could tell her anything. I'm not sure if I should come right out with it or maybe hint it subtle way. I can't do it right now. Shes going in for surgery tomorrow and I wouldn't want to stress her out so I have a little time to think about how I'm going to do this. I have to say something. Its eating away at me.

 

well we would have this year but she recently gained custody of her niece and has to drive her mother around temporarily so not anytime soon, financial reasons are also part of it. Its funny because she refers to a lot of things as "ours". I've been taking care of my boss's sons dog (for months now) while he's in rehab and she calls him our dog, and the house he is in is "our" house, its "our" clothes or "our " weed (hee hee).

 

I think she would take it better than I give her credit for.

 

Well we're going out for a couple beers tonight. I'm going to go for it and tell her. I'm confident it will go well. Maybe something will come of it, maybe not. As long as she is still my friend after it doesn't matter to me. Wish me luck!

 

Well it actually went over pretty well. I kept putting it off until she finally told me to just tell her over text. I shouldn't have but I did it anyway. At first there was no response and I started to panic and asked if she could at least reassure me that we would still be friends and she finally answered and said "I will always be your friend your my best friend no matter what". We were fine and went for a couple beers later on and she didn't mention it so I did a couple of times. She didn't have much to say about it, she smiled and laughed with me about it and said it is what it is. Nothing has changed between us since. We still are together 24/7 like nothing happened, which I am content with. At least she knows now and I've gotten the weight of my chest. Lesson learned here: Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.(Dr. Suess). If you have feelings for a friend, tell them, and do so in a way YOU think would be best based on how well you know them. A true friend will not judge you or think differently of you, and if they do, it was never meant to be.