I transfered school this past summer, so i met this guy and we became bestfriends really fast, i´ve never felt something for guys before until i met him. we started to get closer and closer. my atraction for him started growing ang growing so at some point i used to think about him everyday. we started spending a lot of time together. one time i made this party and everyone was drunk so him and i went into my room and well we cuddled in my bed for like 2 hours holding each others hands. and then we started to do that evey weekend i wouldnt tell him like "hey lets go cuddle" but i invited him to drink and this cuddle sessions started to happen every week. He is not homophobic at all he has a gay friend. He is very good looking but he has never had a girlfriend, one time before the cuddle sessions he told me he thought he was asexual. but then in another occasion he was sober and i asked him and he said he isn´t. His family is very very old fashion they are very homophobic and they will kill him if he turned out to be gay or bi. Im really confussed by this relationship. I love him so much he is the person i love the most and sometimes we end up cuddling and holding hands and some other times he would say things like that he isn´t homophobic as longest as they don´t fall in love with him. He is a very calm person he is very open minded very nice to everyone he really doesnt like the social scene he doesn´t like to go out and stuff a lot. but im dying to know if he is or not. I just love him so much and i really need your help guys. I want to tell him that i am bisexual because i feel he could also tell me that he is too. but at the same time im afraid he isn´t and things will change for us. Lately he has been feeling sad and im his bestfriend but he is the kind of person that you will ask him whats wrong and he will never tell you whats wrong, not even me. but i feel its related to this topic. Please help
Coming out to him would be best because right now you are cuddling for non-platonic reasons, which may or may not be the case for him. Coming out will bring things out into the open. He might retreat for a while, but right now he needs someone to talk to if he's really confused. He's obviously got a lot of issues if you're right his parents will be violent if he comes out, so you need to take that in mind. How old are you two? That is important in determining how much control his parents have over him.
Re: This relationship is really confusing... Ahh it sounds like he really likes you... Coming from a homophobic family is likely to cause anyone to suppress their urges from an early age, me and the girl I love are in same boat even though we are older...... I actually feel that loving someone makes the sexual urges more acceptable rather than less so , but some people may feel opposite. I'd be more embarrassed of my sexual feelings if I didn't have emotions to go wit them x
Re: This relationship is really confusing... That's quite complicated, I understand why you're confused. My only advice is to keep being close to him, keep reassuring him that he's your best friend and that he can talk to you about anything. I think tell him that you're bi is a good idea. You can observe how he reacts to it, and yes, he might end up telling you if he's been in the closet. It's possible that he's in denial because of his family. May I ask how old you both are? He might just not be comfortable with himself yet, although he is certainly showing you that he's comfortable around you with all the cuddling. If you didn't initiate the cuddling, would he initiate it for you?
Re: This relationship is really confusing... You're really in a confusing situation! You guys are really proceeding at a really really quick pace! To be honest, I don't know how close your relationship is, but I'd recommend you holding in that particular piece of information. If you're still in the closet, I don't recommend you telling someone you've only met recently. Furthermore, my guess is that you're crushing on him right now and the most frightening things that can come up is that crushes can fade... either quickly or slowly. Also, I can relate to your friend when you say: because I'm the exact same person. How I feel (may not be the exact same way your friend feels), is that once you are at a level where a) you can get him to talk to you or b) he comes to talk to you first, is when you can safely say you are at a level where you're both ready. But that's only me. Keep us posted!
