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Confused, abrupt and out of character

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Mrcake, Feb 19, 2014.

  1. Mrcake

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    So here's the story: I met this amazing guy at a LGBT conference and he lives 7 hours away from me. We hung out during the entire conference and had a really strong connection with each other. We exchanged phone numbers and other information and had been talking/texting every day since then. We had decided to start video chatting the past week and half almost every night as a means of communicating with each other, and decided to start dating. This past week and a half has been one of the happiest weeks of my life, but today was odd. Last night we video chatted and I had told him about some self confidence issues I had, and he was okay with everything and supportive - we ended the night with a goodbye and everything like normal. Today I texted him in the morning and talked with him for a while, snap chatted a few things and all was good. After 2pm he didn't respond, which I thought was odd - I thought maybe he was being polite and letting me study for an exam that is on friday. I thought, hmm okay, how odd...Tonight I got on Facebook and saw that he was online and I said hello. He said hello and then proceeded to write me this message. Basically in a nutshell it said that I am a great person and I deserve to feel and touch someone every day; I don't deserve him, because I don't "know" him. He said that he felt that a long distance relationship was unfair and that I should pursue people in my town. I read the message several times and asked a friend, who also met him, about this guy. She told me that it was rather out of character and that it's sort of uncalled for. Anyway, I sent him a message saying that I have been in a LDR before and that it was enjoyable for me; I don't mind commuting the 7 hours to see him every once and a while, and I don't think that he could ever find someone comparable to me - I felt the same for him... we have so much in common and everything seemed perfect. I don't understand this sudden change of heart. Could he have been drunk? Could he have met some other person?


    One more thing: He responded and told me that he basically needed time to think it over and follow his heart - he wants to take it slower and possibly date me some other time. He's not saying he wants a relationship and he's not saying he doesn't - basically the opportunity is still there. I'm just confused....Why would someone abruptly say this?


    TLDR: My recent boyfriend has decided that a LDR may not be the best option for us, and he feels like I am too good for him. What should I tell him or say?
     
  2. Juggalo

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    Maybe he has his own selfconfidance issues. Has HE ever been in a long distance relationship before?
     
  3. Mrcake

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    No. I guess he has been out for like 3 years , but hasn't dated. He's done stuff with people before, but hasn't wanted to date anyone.
     
  4. Mrcake

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    Talked to one of his friends and he said that he was stupid when things go unexpected and not 100% according to what he thought. One of his friends said that he'd talk to him more and try to help convince him that he is making the wrong decision. I hope that this will allow him to change his mind, because I do like him so much. I hope it all works out, because I feel hopeless without someone like him. I feel like I've been searching for the right person for too long.
     
  5. jonnemack

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    Do you know if his family has something to do with that? How they support (or not) his homossexuality?
     
  6. Mrcake

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    He has been out for 3 years, they support him now.
     
  7. Mrcake

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    This guy is a fake, I'm really bummed that he didn't turn out to be the guy I met.