Hi everyone, Last week, I met a guy on an app (not a hookup app) and he messaged me saying I look super familiar. He said he had seen me on the bus before and was trying to think of an excuse to talk to me. Anyways, the point is that he was super into me and gave me his phone number. Later, we were texting and he suggested that we hang out sometime. So, he asks about maybe getting coffee. I said that I don't really like coffee and would prefer to get some food. So, we decided to go to a restaurant (Noodles & Co.) on campus after we get done with classes. He said it sounded "Awesome " So, the morning that we were going to meet he texts me saying that he doesn't think that he will be able to meet that day because he slipped and hurt himself. I'm sure it was just an excuse even if he did fall. I would have taken it as a hint that maybe he wasn't interested, but he texted me later that day saying "I didn't see you on the bus " He also suggested that maybe we do something the next day during the day because he actually didn't have to work. So I suggested that we grab lunch at Noodles. He said he'd get back to me on the idea. Well, he didn't get back to me that day, so the next day I texted him asking him if he wanted to meet because I needed to know. He texted back saying "Probably not today. I have a headache and would be no fun to hang out with." I just don't understand what he wants. He initiated every move. He sounded super excited about going out to lunch with me. Even after he cancelled the first time, he still suggested we meet up the next day. We haven't really talked since yesterday which was when he backed out again. I like the guy. I just don't understand what's going on here. Any thoughts on what he is thinking or what I should do would be much appreciated!
The common element seems to be the "Noodles & Co" location... try to set something up in a different venue? Maybe he doesn't really like the food there, maybe an ex-boyfriend (or relative who doesn't know he's into guys) works there, maybe he was fired from that place, there could be a million reasons. I'm just not sure that turning down that location twice is a coincidence.
Actually, I think he may be incredibly nervous and/or have really low self esteem and so when it's a fantasy... he can handle it, but when it comes to actually meeting up with you in person... it perhaps scares him away. It's oldschool, but maybe suggest talking on the phone first. (I suggest that over skype because then it's only voice, not visual). That might feel safer to him, and might give both of you a chance to see if you really connect with each other. It's also possible that, if he isn't out, noodles is too visible a place, as the previous poster suggested. Or perhaps the coffee place he suggested feels safe to him. So maybe you should just agree to coffee for a first meeting and see where that leads.
Thanks for the advice! I have a new plan and am wondering what anyone thinks. So, we apparently usually see each other on the bus on Tuesdays and Thursdays since we get out of class about the same time and take the same bus. I agree that he isn't comfortable about meeting at Noodles, so I'm thinking I am just going to meet him on the bus without any formal plans. I think that the actual plans are making him nervous. Should I text him, or keep a little distance maybe to make him feel more comfortable?
