im new on here so i hope im posting this in the right place. my stepbrother is gay and i support him and always will. he is family and i love him. my question is what's the best way for me to explain to my gf why i support him? she doesnt believe in gay marriage but i do. my cousin deserves the same rights that i have but my gf doesnt understand that. i love her but i wish she understood that i feel everyone should be allowed to marry regardless of gender. how do i explain this to her? im frustrated.
If all we had to do to eliminate conflict is to explain things, the world would be far different. Implicit in every explanation is that the person hearing the explanation is rational and reasonable. I don't know anyone who is 100% rational or reasonable, myself included. You have no doubt heard it said that to understand someone you have to walk in their shoes. This works in some cases, but not for being gay. They cannot understand what it is like. Perhaps the only thing that can work is to ask her to at least suspend judgment, to at least acknowledge the very fact that she cannot walk in your stepbrother's shoes and can therefore not really understand just how powerful sexual orientation can be. Suspending judgment is a moral choice. By appealing to this, you would be speaking the same language as her, which is probably closer to what she can understand.
Does she believe homosexuality is a choice? Then you might start with that and ask her if she remembers choosing to be straight. Does she believe the love between two men or two women is so different than between a man and a woman?
she's never mentioned it being a choice. she has said she doesn't care if gays or lesbians live together but that she doesn't believe they should be allowed to marry. i disagree with her on that.
Does she mean religious marry or legally marry? If it's because of her religion then there's not much you can do to convince her... other tell her that gays should at least be given the legal benefits of marriage. If she doesn't think they should marry legally either, then that is just discrimination in it's simplest form... which is what you should tell her...
she means the religious marry part. i don't think we can ever agree on this. she knows where i stand on the issue and i know where she stands. we can never agree so i will have to accept that.
Good for you that you support it! Perhaps lead by example and show her the reasons as to why you support it and perhaps she will see reasoning as to why she should too
you pretty much figured this out on your own it seems. some people will never understand, nothing you say or do can change that. i'm glad you support your stepbrother he's lucky to have you in his corner.
Hi, How does your gf feel about interracial marriage? Inter-religious marriage? Is she keen on civil rights and equality? Hard to figure out how some people feel their brand of religion is king and all others must worship at their feet. This is a biggie... Your gf does not believe in civil rights or freedom of religion (some religions support gay marriage). Be wary. Tom
Just tell her that religions perform weddings, which is different from the marriage contracts the government hands out. Weddings are irrelevant to getting married. Gay people just want to get married.
I'm pretty sure most people who oppose marriage equality don't even know the difference between a wedding and a marriage contract... but it's definitely worth a shot. Also tell her that clergy aren't coerced to officiate marriages between people of the same gender, but some denominations have officiants that allow it, e.g. Unitarian Universalism, United Church of Christ.
