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Friends being inconsiderate about my feelings..

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by tryhtwfr, Feb 28, 2014.

  1. tryhtwfr

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    I had liked this boy extremely called J for months because he was constantly giving me hints and making me feel very special and would constantly persuade me to tell my supposed "crush" (which was him) that I like them. He wasn't totally oblivious to the idea of me being gay because he asked the gender of the person I like and I joked 'both' and we laughed. Anyways, I noticed he was giving girls the same look he gave me and he kinda got distant from me and so I did too because I didn't want to get hurt. Fast forward a few months to January this year, a girl from the year above asked me if I liked J and if there was anything going on and I denied it and I ran into the toilets and cried because I didn't know how she found out considering the fact it was few months prior to this girl asking me. She had told me that everyone was talking about 2 weeks ago and that they were laughing behind my back and that one of my two bestfriends had told J that I liked him. Anyways, I found out from my bestfriend that she had told one of J's friends to tell J to back off and she stressed that her intentions were pure and that she can't believe I forgiven her and I have such a pure heart.


    ANYWAYS, ever since mid-january I have been feeling so low and I can't stop thinking about the looks I've been given and the laughs I get. Furthermore, my two bestfriends talk so openly about J infront of me and act as if nothing happened between us two. They both talk to him regularly and always dwell on the fact most of his friends left him because they got girlfriends and say that they feel bad for him. The other day at the trip, they both left me to sit with him and comfort him for the whole trip and I cried so much that day and they started acting off with me because they thought I was off with them which I was but I think I had every right to be. They also just talk so openly about him and the conversations with him and it's as if they think it's one sided and that I was the psycho bitch that liked him. He's not "gay" apparently but I know that he isn't straight and he played me deliberately for satisfaction of knowing he can pull the other sex. Also, J told all his friends and everyone it was one-sided and I fear my bestfriends believe that and think I'm a desperate boy with nothing better to do than make up such stories. And whenever I try bring up this issue with my feelings being undermined by the bestfriend who told J's friend, she changes the topic straight away before I can say anything :frowning2:

    Please help because I'm loosing my mind over this and It's been over a month but I just can't stop thinking about it and I don't know what to do.
     
  2. WhiteShadows

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    You need to tell your friends that it was not fair of them to disclose your personal feelings to other people, and that they need to back off and let you live your life.
     
  3. Beantown

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    Wouldn't that just make them distance themselves from him and by the sounds of it, it sounds like they're his only friends so I don't think him being alone is the best thing right now like they don't sound like good friends especially since they went to comfort the other guy over him but at least they pay some attention to him.
     
  4. tryhtwfr

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    Yeah they are 2 of my closest out of the whole 6 I have and I would be lost at breaktime without them. However, they just don't see that them talking about him and going to comfort him affects me really badly and I don't want to sound selfish and cliché but I do matter too. Furthermore, I've seen conversations where J talks shit about my two friends but I don't want to tell them because I've let it rest and don't want to bring it up. So, why should they be with someone that does that and because he has lost all his friends to their girlfriends, why are my two friends his second choice and why does he have to take them away and why do my two friends act oblivious or are oblivious to the whole situation? Which brings me to my point of them thinking the whole me liking him was one-sided and I instigated it and J had no part in it.

    Thank you both for your replies
     
  5. WhiteShadows

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    Well, ask them to talk about something else then.