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What to do with impending college and being gay?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ChristianHipstr, Mar 2, 2014.

  1. ChristianHipstr

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    I know I've asked questions about colleges and homosexuality before, but I'm at a really big conflict right now.. I'm basically guaranteed a full ride to Baylor's Honour College, but I know Baylor's anti-gay tendencies as well as rules... The reason this is such a conflict for me, is that I wanted college to be a greater experience, where my friends would know about me and accept it, where I could potentially date, and where i could join in equality rallies and such. I can't live in the dark anymore, but at the same time I would never pass up such an exceptional opportunity.
    What I really need to know I guess, is three things.
    1. What's the extent of Baylor's Anti homosexuality rules?
    2. Knowing these rules, will at least a partial amount of what I dreamed college would be be available?
    3. If it isn't, or if it's limited, should I just suck it up and hide for 4+ more years?
     
  2. Clay

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    Surely it would be illegal for it to discriminate?
     
  3. ChristianHipstr

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    It's a private Christian school in Texas... It's has rules against "homosexual tendencies" or anything that would go against the bibles teachings.
     
  4. Argentwing

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    I should know better than to argue with the church using reason, but isn't the bible open to interpretation?

    That said, it sounds like a tough spot. I would personally try for a college that doesn't suppress its students, but if it really is a good enough (and free enough) education to keep your identity quiet, that's another choice you can go with.
     
  5. SemiCharmedLife

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  6. ChristianHipstr

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    My struggle lies in the concept that I basically receive a free education from one of best schools in Texas and closet myself for another 4+ years, or I live up to my dream of being a gay college student and pay off student loans forever.
    One option appeals to my logical side and the other my emotional lol. I just really don't know which to go with considering I don't know exactly how bad Baylor will be, or how good other colleges will be.
     
  7. Some Dude

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    If Baylor is willing to offer you a full ride than it is likely that you could get similar offers from other colleges, right?
     
  8. ChristianHipstr

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    I, and my family, have close ties to many important people at Baylor.. So it's really more if a Legacy thing
     
  9. Jude95

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    I live in the town where baylor is located. I can tell you that the town is very conservative. The attitude toward gay people is not friendly. And I have not met an open gay guy in here.
     
  10. emkorora

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    I'm not looking to criticize your decision either way, but think of it this way:

    If you enjoy a "full ride" to Baylor, think of all the money that you're allowing to be poured into their policies against "homophobic tendencies."
     
  11. Chip

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    Wow, that's a really tough call, and I don't think there's an easy answer. Here are some things to think about:

    -- College is, for most people, a time to really explore themselves sexually, in relationships, in friendships. The friendships one makes in college, unlike high school friendships, are much more likely to be long lasting. College is also a time of finding yourself, opening yourself up to new ideas, thoughts, expansive and critical thinking.

    If you go to a college where you can't be yourself, you're going to constantly have to put a lot of energy into hiding who you are, and that not only takes tremendous psychic and physical energy, but it takes a real toll on your psyche, sense of self-worth, and your emotional and psychological growth. If the school has a strong Christian ideology woven into its culture and curriculum, the impact of all of that hate and bigotry is most certainly going to affect your self esteem and, over time, will also affect your values and beliefs. I'm not being sarcastic when I say that you will likely need some therapy by the time you graduate (or during school) to undo the effects of living in an openly homophobic and hostile culture. BUT... the allure of a 4 year free ride is certainly not something to be dismissed with the wave of a hand.

    Now... if you choose not to go to Baylor, a lot depends on what you plan to do after school, as there are lots of options for school that don't have to break the bank.

    But as you said, anywhere you go, assuming your parents aren't paying for it, you'll likely have some combination of student loans, work/study during school, summer jobs, and the like. But that buys you, very likely, a much better college experience, less stress, greater openness, authenticity, and creativity, better friendships, the possibility of developing a long-lasting relationship, and belng able to explore your emotional and sexual self openly.

    The last piece to consider is that student loans cannot be discharged in bankruptcy. Which means, whatever you get into debt for, you *have* to pay it back, and knowing that, there are many lenders that make shady loans with high interest rates, steep penalties, and all sorts of added fees, knowing there's no way you can avoid paying them off. Now, if you are going into a career that pays well, and you live frugally, you'll be able to pay them off in 5 or 10 years or maybe less, and that might be a reasonable trade-off.

    There's a lot of nuance and no clear right-or-wrong answer here as near as I can see.