Letter To My Ex - need advice!?!?!?

Very well written. You've really poured your heart out there.

Since you asked for comments, just one thing; I don't know whether it's a good idea to be so explicit about the *feeling suicidal* bit. Does he need to know that?

 

I think it's well written. However, depending on the type of relationship you had you might what to leave some stuff out. Don't talk about how sad and lonely you felt without him there. Or the thoughts of suicide. Those are heavy topics and may be too much for him digest.
In this case less is more. Let him know you miss him and you would like to get together and talk but don't make it seem like you're making a sacrifice by doing this. The shorter and more optimistic you can make the letter the better.

I'm only saying this because I did the same thing. I wrote a 2 page letter and gave it to my ex gf. I poured my heart out to her and it didnt end well. Now I get to be even more lonely than I was before. So I would hate for someone else to go through the same thing.
Just be careful and don't throw everything out there at once. Good luck, i hope things work out.

 

Hi. I will be honest and I hope I don't come off too harsh.

Cut the depressing part (the one that doesn't include him) and the suicidal part out. It could make him think that you're trying to convince him to get back with you by using your depression and suicidal thoughts. And to many, that's a deal breaker because you're needy as f*ck, and very few want to be the emotional support of someone with the conditions mentioned.

Other than that, Good luck

 

Hi Aaron!

I see you trying to do two things at once with this letter, and I think it's too much. On the one hand you are trying to tell him what happened to you when you broke up. On the other, you're trying to get back together again.

Aside from whether this is a good idea or not, I would advise you to focus the letter on getting back together and not on the past.

If you do get back together, these issues are better discussed between yourselves. As for whether this is a good idea, well the heart wants what it wants, your mental health be damned. So think carefully about how you intend to repair what are probably persistent issues between the both of you and keep getting support from counselors, heck you will probably need them more than ever!

Best of luck Aaron, I'm rooting for you!

 

Heh, guess you weren't a fan of whatever I said in your other thread. That's okay.

I still disagree with pursuing someone so strongly who wasn't willing to make any kind of a commitment to you, but the heart wants what the heart wants I guess. If you really want a chance to start over with Sebastian, I think you need to leave out everything about suicidal thoughts, conversations with your psychiatrist, etc. -- that's an awful lot to take in. While I would certainly hope that if you end up together that you'll be comfortable talking about any topic eventually, portraying yourself as an emotional wreck is probably not going to attract him.

I would suggest just telling him that you've tried dating other guys but that every time you've been left wanting more -- what you felt when you were with him. Let him know that you miss him and would love another chance to get to know him better. I don't think it has to be anything long or elaborate (totally hypocritical on my part, by the way ).

Most importantly though, please have enough respect for Alex to break up with him now. You obviously care about him quite a bit so it's not fair to string him along now that you know for sure he's not the guy you want to be with. Don't try to force yourself to "settle" for him.

All the best!

 

I know its irrelevant now for this thread anyways, but I just scrolled around and found the thread you posted before this. I am curious why, in your head anyways, this is a situation where you feel like you need to choose one or the other. Maybe I am wrong, but I think it might be helpful to accept that both relationships failed and maybe consider moving on to the next one.

Finding the perfect person takes time. It is more likely than not that relationships will have issues surrounding chemistry, reciprocity, connection and other things, but its important to realize that its okay to let go in those situations. When we miss someone, we tend to idealize being with them and only remember the good times when in fact, if that was the entire situation, you would probably still be together.

The fact that you aren't suggests the match wasn't perfect, but that doesn't preclude ever finding someone again. I urge you to resist getting back with someone after such a short time when issues as big as those are clearly not resolved in their entirety. In the meantime either work on your own issues, or continue to search for the right person, but the answer is almost certainly not in the past.