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My parents are splitting up...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Dasher Anne, Mar 6, 2014.

  1. Dasher Anne

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    About 10 years ago my parents started getting into fights. They haven't fought for a very long time, but things haven't been the same since. My dad is often out with his friends, and when he is home he's alone in his room or trying pathetically to please my mom. My mom has basically been done with him and ignores him. They've barely been coexisting.

    She told me yesterday she doesn't want to be weighed down by him any more, since its kind of obvious she doesn't feel much for him anymore and she ends up taking most of his share of responsibilities. She's breaking up with him, and he's going to find another place to live soon. I respect her decision, but I... a lot's probably going to change.

    I'm going to stay with my mom where I am, since she's really awesome. She works with disabled people, she knows how to handle responsibilities and still have fun, she's the only parent who knows I'm gay and is so accepting, and she knows just how to help get me going with my depression. My dad wouldn't be as much of a good choice. My siblings are most likely staying with my mom too.

    Me and my dad used to be really close though. We would watch old timey tv shows like Lost in Space together and stuff. For a long time he's been acting really lonely and like I said, he's either off with his friends or trying to get people to hang out with him around the house or alone in his room. He's not the most responsible either, and he's a big confusing contradiction. He smokes a lot, but he constantly buys tons of organic chemical free flours and cereals we don't need. And I think he really likes my mom still. I'm really worried about how he's going to live when he's all by himself. I'm really worried about him getting really depressed and doing stupid stuff.

    I just want someone to talk to who's been through divorce before. I don't really know how to handle all the change that's coming. I don't handle change very well. And I'm worried about my dad... I just don't know what to do or think.
     
  2. StephenSC

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    I've not been through this so I can't help to much from experience but I'm sure someone else will be able to!

    I just wanted to say that, as bad as it sounds, this is a good thing for your parents. If they've really not been happy for the past 10 years it might be for the best. This way they both get a chance to move on and live the full and happy life that everyone deserves.

    It is in NO way a reflection of their love of you or your siblings.


    As for your father and your concerns for him... Maybe you could try talk to him, sometimes even parents can need support! After all they are only human as well. Let him know that you care about him and want him to take this chance to be happy. If you feel you can and it wont offend tell him that you are worried about him as well.


    Try not worry about what the future holds, take each little step one at a time and remember your not alone. Don't be afraid to talk to your parents or your siblings about how you feel. Communication is a healthy thing. Remember that not all change is bad.
     
  3. Yosia

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    It willbe muchmore different for you as you are 16 but when i was about 8 my parents split up, and at the time i was confused and upset but now i have got totally used to it and i still see my dad on sundays but i am used to it now.. Infact i find it normal for me XD

    Like JassonSC said, if they have not been happy for so long then maybe its better and you should still speak and see your dad (if you want to) as that will make him still feel loved ^^

    I hope you are okay (*hugs*) \(^o^)/
     
  4. resu

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    It's not easy for me to say it, but I wish my parents divorced a long time ago. The problem is that they are from India and Catholic, where divorce is basically unheard of. The problem was that my dad was abusive and always depressed, to the point that each job he kept, he stayed for shorter and shorter time periods, and now he's been out of work for over a year. In America, my dad had multiple siblings and relatives nearby, my mom was all alone, and the stress really took a toll on her.

    I used to really hate him when I was young, but now I just feel he's a pathetic person. I really think that if my mom had divorced him (I would definitely have stayed with her), I would have come out already. One big reason I stayed at home while going to college was trying to keep the peace between my parents, even though it was ultimately my dad's fault for the vast majority of problems. I now realize this was delaying the inevitable, and curtailing my mom's happiness.
     
  5. lameo

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    My parents are splitting up right now as well, the change can be hard, I feel your pain. Just know that everything will be okay, my thoughts are with you on this! Good luck dealing with all the emotions that come with it.
     
  6. ThePhoenix

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    I was 18 when my parents or more or less my mom finally decided to get a divorce, which I stated numerous to es that I was okay with, but things hadn't been going well since I was about 13 and I'm not in good relations with my dad (he was abusive and very easily tempered) and I haven't really had a good relationship with him since I was about 10 so I can't really relate to you on some parts but the way you make it sound its seems like this has been in the making for a while. Some people just lose what they had for one another and drift apart. I hope everything goes well for you and that this isn't too hard on you.