major crush on best friend (quite long)

i am officially in love with my best friend who is also a girl. I thought i was a lesbian or bisexual at first and that made me scared because I don't think I have courage to face up to all the societal pressures. After reading lots of straight crush stories on yahoo answers etc, i realised that many girls who identify as straight have big time crushes on their best friends. I know that i am not attracted to her superficially because she is not pretty or hot. I like her because of her personality and her ambitious nature. She doesn't have a good temper and often picks on my culinary skills and my untidiness. I have grown to like her because of that too hahah. but strangely, the more I see her the more I think she is cute in a unique way because of her round cheeks and fish-like lips.

about the fish-like lips: she likes to try to slurp up noodles (idk if this is deliberate) or try to pick up food with her mouth without using utensils. i realise that for the past month i have been obsessing about those fish lips and i keep having the urge to kiss her. we are really really close and I see her everyday. she stays next door to me and i always find reasons to pass her stuff or arrange things so i can talk to her. i dont mind cooking lunch and buying groceries even though she always says that my food isnt good (though it certainly is better than average. she cant cook haha). i feel extremely happy when she compliments my cooking or doesn't complain at least (she is one fussy girl).

a lot of my friends think we look like we are dating because i feed her stuff. we have separate groups of friends outside of school and once when i hanged out with her friends, she leant on my shoulder the whole time (an hour) until her friends felt awkward and told her to stop 'taking advantage' of me. they moved stuff out of the tiny room to make space for us, so she wouldn't have to lean on me. i dunno if she knows i have a crush on her, but whatever she is doing is making my mind work in an overdrive. i dont know if im misreading all her touches and leaning against me, because most of the time there is absolutely no need for her to squeeze against me. she does that all the time in the kitchen when i am cooking or washing up although there is plenty of space. my other girl friends do not do this and i wonder if she is having a crush on me too. both of us are single btw.

there was once in lecture, she rested her head on my shoulder and i put my arm around her waist. she immediately pulled away so i guess she is not that comfortable with letting others know. however, she will seat very close to me in lectures and does not pull away when our thighs touch. god she is screwing my head.