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How to get over a spouses "affair"

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Pete1970, Mar 8, 2014.

  1. Pete1970

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    I dont want to go into all the details again, i have in another thread. Basically, after i came out to my wife i pushed her away and told her she could date other people, but i guess i was too naive to think she would be having sex with them. About a month ago, i found out that she had sex and it really through me for a loop. Since then we have decided to try to reconcile but i still cant stop thinking about her having sex with someone else. Up to that point we had only been with each other. Its really all i can think about and my wife refuses to talk about it anymore and gets mad when i bring it up. I take some blame in all this, but it doesnt make ot easier or go away.

    Everyone i talk to just says that i have to let it go and get over it, but HOW exactly does one do that?

    Thanks
     
  2. Clay

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    You're just going to have to go leave it in the past. Not dwell on it.
     
  3. Rosepetal

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    I agree with pulvia and i think ur wife cheated bc she wasnt getting some pleasure from u bc u came out to her. She feels u are depriving her attention,love nd pleasure. This is how we females think when we want sex from a significant other. best of luck :slight_smile:
     
  4. Ettina

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    It's not cheating because you said she could date other people. Cheating is getting involved with others without your partner's consent. And though you regret it now, you did consent at the time. She had no reason to think you'd object to her having sex with someone else.

    I know emotions often don't listen to logic, though.
     
  5. Rosepetal

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    I agree bc u gave her permisson to have a open relationship.
     
  6. Cass

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    Honestly, you'll just have to accept it and leave it be, it cant be fixed now.