My boyfriend came to me yesterday feeling all guilty because he started watching porn again, which really doesn't bother me that much at all. It seemed however to genuinely bother him. My question is what, if anything, i should do?
Poor guy must feel really ashamed/guilty about it. = ( I agree with the above, just let him know it doesn't bother you, you accept it and there is nothing wrong with it. (Guys are strange creatures. I hope you know the fact he watches porn doesn't mean he thinks less/negatively of you, it means he's a guy... The fact he feels so bad about it and can talk to you says the opposite though!)
Hey I agree if it doesn't bother you then tell him. I'm just wondering did your boyfriend have a problem with porn before or is it just that he felt like he was being unfaithful?
I watch porn, I think people who have an issue with their lovers watching it our insecure. Sounds like you just are secure with yourself, and sounds like your man is just caring and worried about your feelings.
If you feel like it's something the two of you can talk about, you might ask him if he's comfortable sharing why it's so concerning to him. Porn does contribute to shame in some people, but there's really no logical reason why it should, unless he's watching porn that he feels uncomfortable about because it's extreme or degrading or something. But the very fact that he's talking to you about it is a good sign, because he knows that there's shame there and talking about it ihelps. Empathy is everything in this circumstance; the ultimate antidote to shame. So the best thing you can do, as far as empathy, is be with him, without judgment, avoid giving advice or even telling him not to worry, but just meet him where he is, let him know you understand, and it's OK, and you love him no matter what. If there's a bigger issue going on, then perhaps he'd want to come here and talk about it, or, alternatively, to see a therapist.
I appreciate all he advice. He didnt seem to feel bad about porn till we started dating. I generally assume guys have, and even most girls i know at some point. He tends to over-think, and worry about hurting me. I was pretty open about telling him i didn't really care, its not like he was sleeping with anyone else.
