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Giving up on looking for love... permanently?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Pikachu007, Mar 8, 2014.

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  1. Pikachu007

    Pikachu007 Guest

    Okay, whether you find this stupid or not, I'm already quitting looking for my lesbian love.

    I always liked girls since I was 7, but didn't fully accept myself until I was 16. For nearly 6 years now, I've been looking for a REAL relationship with a woman. I was in a long distant relationship for a short period of time, but it was pointless as I never met this girl I was with and I didn't feel happy.

    For many years, I tried and tried to find a woman, even a hookup. Obviously, I never had sex before. I live in a dead, isolated area in Canada, where there is no LGBT anywhere. I tried dating sites and apps and they all suck. I'm sick and tired of trying to find love so I'm quitting for once and for all. I may try again when I'm 50, who knows. But for now, F this whole "lesbian relationship." I don't care if I remain a virgin, I'm not cut out for relationships and also, my parents are kinda homophobic so why risk myself coming out?

    Sorry for whining and complaining so much. My question is, have any of you guys ever quit relationships or anything for the best?
     
    #1 Pikachu007, Mar 8, 2014
  2. resu

    resu
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    It's okay to not be actively looking, but don't give up completely. Maybe you could move to a larger city and have a better chance of finding other lesbian women.
     
    #2 resu, Mar 8, 2014
  3. StephenSC

    StephenSC
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    I'm a 27 year old gay male who had also never been about to find his true love... At times in the past I've felt like I want to quit and give up looking. It is difficult and it feels hopeless at times... There is so much pressure to find someone place on us by outside influences.

    One thing I've come to realise is that it doesn't really matter if I'm with someone or not, it doesn't matter if I'm a virgin or not. I don't need another person, or other peoples approval to be happy and live a good life.
    It's the same for you, be happy with yourself! Spend time with great friends and family and you'll never need to be in a relationship to be connected to people or to be happy.

    = )

    One last suggestion I will make, although actively looking might be upsetting or frustrating and can be worth stopping, DON'T close yourself off to the idea altogether. Stay open to the possibility as the right person might be just around the corner!
     
    #3 StephenSC, Mar 8, 2014
  4. ThePhoenix

    ThePhoenix
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    I'm still trying to figure out who I love but am not really searching the world for him/her but it would be nice. I just got out of a LD relationship that didn't end well, so I'm not exactly excited or wanted a relationship right now. Who knows if you stop searching maybe it will find you.
     
    #4 ThePhoenix, Mar 9, 2014
  5. lameo

    lameo
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    Ironically my fiancé is the person I have been with for the longest and it has only been a little over a year. I never have been too serious with anyone, but that was because I believed I was too young and not mature enough yet. I am a child of divorce, so when I marry I plan to stay that way. I am also a hopeless romantic. So I will tell you what I tell anyone who tells me they have quit on relationships...

    I say, quit looking for someone because you may settle for anyone. Also, you cannot approach any relationship with a negative mindset, so if you quit love you aren't giving anyone a real chance at your heart. Even though I have not found my soul mate, I like to believe there is one out there. It may be silly, but I believe in being positive.

    Your soul mate is out there. Just make yourself happy in the meantime.
     
    #5 lameo, Mar 9, 2014
  6. Pikachu007

    Pikachu007 Guest

    Hey everyone! First of all, thank you all very much for replying back. Your advices really do help. I believe that's what I'm going to do; just be myself and be happy. I've been under alot of stress about personal stuff so it's not always easy trying to stay positive. But at least I have great friends and family I can spend time with :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Pikachu007, Mar 9, 2014
  7. SimplyJay

    SimplyJay
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    I've also given up on any sorta love. (yeah I daydream about having a sorta-boyfriend - mostly someone to cuddle/kiss/be close with)
    In all reality knowing that I'll always be single & virgin, but...

    I see nothing wrong with being single.
    I think i might be atleast somewhat asexual anyway.
     
    #7 SimplyJay, Mar 11, 2014
  8. Kuruma

    Kuruma Guest

    Ok, I may be a guy. But everyone has an opinion and I say don't quit. I stopped looking for love, for a while. Then I went into the random chat stage, and got a little down. Until I kept waiting and I met my girlfriend (who I haven't told I'm bi). We get along so well and I never thought it would happen. Searching for love will just make it seem harder; but if you stay true to yourself and be your own person, someone will look for you. Just wait someone will find you and sweep you off your feet, please don't give up.
     
    #8 Kuruma, Mar 11, 2014
  9. BelleFromHell

    BelleFromHell
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    I feel like I want to quit too.
    The girl I like lives on the other side of the country and may or may not be gay.. :/
     
    #9 BelleFromHell, Mar 11, 2014
  10. Boyfriends

    Boyfriends
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    If you actively look for love or a relationship, you're more inclined to go for whatever is "good enough". Which, honestly, isn't fair to you or the other person involved.

    You just have to take it a day at a time and see what happens. You could always try online dating sites but just to see what's out there - if you meet people under the mentality that you'll just be friends or whatever, then you can let something naturally instead of feeling like you might be forcing feelings that aren't there.
     
    #10 Boyfriends, Mar 12, 2014
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