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My heart is an idiot and my brain is getting sucked into it.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ThisIsTheKenneth, Mar 9, 2014.

  1. ThisIsTheKenneth

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2014
    Messages:
    54
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    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Out Status:
    All but family
    So here's what's happening:
    I have this really awesome friend. Let's call him W. W, as I have mentioned, is awesome. We've known each other since August-ish and became really good friends. So of course my idiot heart decided to do the whole "fall for straight friend" thing which sucked. I was in the process of making myself to not feel like that (with minimal success), when we were talking one day and he mentioned that he was [mostly straight but could see himself dating a guy. So my hopes shot right back up and the slow progress I'd made in forcing myself to not have romantic feelings for him were squashed. Now, I was fine until he found out that I liked him. The only thing he said was that I need to get my eyes checked, "You've met me, haven't you?" I told him he didn't want to know about it and he said "It's weird but aldhldjfldhsj..." then trailed off. This was during lunch and for the rest of the day I felt weird around him because he knows. This happened on Friday and since then I've gotten ridiculously anxious about the situation, convinced that he hates me now or something which I know isn't true, but keep thinking anyway. I have not been able to eat much and can't sleep. My stomach feels like it has furious, flame-throwing butterflies in it and I wish I could just force my brain to shut up with all of it's hopeful crap. There's a 0.000000000000000001 chance that he'd ever like me. Does anyone have any advice?