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I think no one will ever accept me if I ever do come out

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Karl99, Mar 9, 2014.

  1. Karl99

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    I'm bi or just bi-curious. I've taken interest in men too while I do still love women so I think i'm bi. I come from a country where people are disgusted by homosexuality. I think even my family. Some of my friends know about it, yet no one EVER brings it up. Like they don't even know, but they actually DO. I think my friends won't accept me either. I have no one to run to. Except maybe you guys :icon_bigg but I need someone to be there right NEXT to me you know.............. I'm crushed inside, knowing that I would really be alone forever especially from where I come from. I'm gonna move FAR AWAY one day. Right now, acceptance is all I want. People from where I come from say that it's really bad being involved with homosexuality. They say it's a sin. They even post statements from the bible about it at school. I feel like my friends are disgusted by me.I have no one beside me....:icon_sad::tears: not even my family......:bang::tears:
    It's so unfair......acceptance is all i'm asking for. If god really hatesut being me then.............I should just kill myself now. Suicide, I think, is my only escape from this hell. Am I an abomination?
    I wanna be ME. But I would hate to disappoint my family.....My uncle even saw some homosexuality in me and he told my mom to enroll me at a military school to man up. But my mom loves me too much, so that didn't happen.(pheeeeeew) I love my dad, I would hate to disappoint him most of all. I'm his only son after all.................
    Will a kindred spirit such as I be the influence of the devil because of me being bi?
    I'm so scared....
    Does god still love me? After all the kindness i've shown? :tears: :icon_sad:
    I am falling into despair.
    If the people do hear about me being bi, they would be disgusted, I will get bullied again....... I think some of my family members would disown me. They would hate me tarnishing their reputation.......
    I feel like i'm a monster in my very existence.
    I wanna be free........to go out there and show them the REAL me.
    Is there anything you think I could do to be free?
    I don't think there is.......that's why i'm gonna be moving. To live freely without the smell of disgust. Should I accept my fate?
    I don't know......help me please!
    Help........me
     
  2. Nick07

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    Hi,
    I am not sure how old you are... 15? Just to give you a picture - I am a parent and an atheist. I am not sure if that makes me the best one to answer you, but here it goes :wink:

    If you live in the western world, your situation is not that bad. You can probably travel freely, you can move out, find a job you like. That's good, it's your safety net.

    It's really very nice that you don't want to disappoint your parents. Really.

    Try to accept though, that you can't live your life FOR them. They brought you to this world to see another human being grow and not to make a copy of themselves or to keep a pet or a puppet.
    Yes, we need to have respect for our parents. Yes, we should obey. But not for the whole life. Respect needs to be deserved by something. If your parents are great people and you will respect them for your whole life, that's great.

    But once you are adult you don't have to fulfil their every wish. It is difficult for parents to let go and to let their children make their own mistakes. Your parents have been used to do the best for you. But soon, your view of what the best is will differ from their view. And once you are adult it will be you who will have to do those decisions.

    Yes, your parents love you and will love you, but you can't make them happy by doing everything they want you to do.

    What does bring parents the biggest sense of pride? When their kids do something on their own and succeed. When our kids surprise us. Not when they obey our command.

    You need to live your life for yourself. It's your parents CHOICE to accept that you are (will be) an adult.

    Study. It may seem lame, but good education will open many doors for you and your moving out will be easier. Keep your online friends close (*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 9th Mar 2014 at 05:53 PM ----------

    And about the religion... There are lots of theories and lots of ways how to read the Bible. Try to google up gay friendly churches. I believe you will find quotations from the Bible explained in different way. Read it, read the Bible again and decide for yourself. If you feel like it, try to find very old version of the Bible. It was translated many times over the years and every translation is a bit different - it mirrors the time when the translation was done. If you find articles about ancient versions, you may be surprised how much it differs from the current version.

    Remember, God created you the way you are. He doesn't hate you. It was his wish for you to be the way you are. Try to make the world a better place by helping others or by doing other things, but not suppressing love you are feeling.
     
  3. Karl99

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    Thanks you :eusa_clap:icon_bigg(*hug*)
     
  4. Nick07

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    Who knows, perhaps with the new Pope the view of homosexuality will change and the people around you will become more accepting.