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Stressing out...I have no one...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Chierro, Mar 9, 2014.

  1. Chierro

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    So I've gotten back to the point where I realize that I don't have anyone to talk to about things, to confide to. All of my friends, I feel like I've just pushed away from all my bitching and moaning about stuff. So here I am, a Sunday night watching Long Island Medium and procrastinating on homework. I want to be able to someone in my life about everything that's been going on...but I have no one. I texted a friend about said homework just to get a response. Just to have someone talk to me.

    My parents keep trying to tell me to go to the sporting events and be in the student section and have fun with all of those people. I'm friends with none. My best friend goes out bowling with people, mutual friends, (we bowl together on the school's team) and doesn't even consider inviting me. I had to find out when he was going out with some mutual friends from his girlfriend. We pick on him as a team at practice, but he should know we mean nothing by it. I don't have him. I don't have the guy who I texted, which hurts even more because I've confided in him about everything. My life has been shifting from personal relationships to online relationships. I shove myself into books lately because it's where I find solace.

    I'm also aware that I haven't been in the most normal mindset lately. Out of nowhere today I had the "What would they do if I were gone..." thoughts. I haven't had those in awhile and now, they're here. I've also weirdly been experiencing some weird anxiety lately. I've been allowed to be home alone for years and now all of sudden once it gets dark, I freak out. I was quite honestly freaking out, I called my parents six times. And of course I had no one to talk to to calm me done.

    Help? Please? What's wrong with me? I...I just...I'm sick of having no one to vent my stresses and to just talk to in my life...
     
  2. WhiteShadows

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    Hey
    First of all (*hug*)
    I'm really sorry to hear that you feel this lonely. I've had similar feelings before, but yours sound really upsetting. If you want to talk anytime you can PM or wall message me, I'm always happy to talk. You do have us, and I know that online people aren't exactly what you want, but it might be able to help.

    There's nothing wrong with you. I've also had the "what if I were gone" thoughts. They don't necessarily mean anything.

    My very vague advice would be to try and meet some new people. Do you have any hobbies, or anything you would like to take up as a hobby? This could be a way to make new friends.

    The other thing that might help is to talk to your best friend about how you're feeling. Odds are he has a busy life and probably doesn't know how sad you feel, but if you asked him to talk with you about it he would probably be happy to be there for you.
     
  3. Chierro

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    I get that you guys are here to help, and I'm grateful for everything you guys have done for me here, honestly...but I want a true connection with someone in real life, an honest friend.

    I know they shouldn't mean anything but all I could think was, "Would he miss me? Would he regret being a douchey friend? How many people would go around claiming they missed me when they never knew me?" At the time they were hitting me hard and I was kind of freaking out.

    I have some hobbies. I bowl and am part of our school's literary magazine. I live in a small town, lots of scummy people, few people I would even onsider having as a friend. I plan on being on my one friend's league team this summer as long as he's healthy enough to bowl by then, so I may make some new friends that way...but idk...

    As for my best friend. Our relationship is strained. He's told me before that I could talk with him whenever I need him, but he hasn't held up his agreement...which...hurts. I rarely see him at school and when I do, we hardly talk. He feels threatened by my friendship with his girlfriend, I'm aware of that...even though he shouldn't be. He has drama stuff almost every night but I can assure that even when that's over, there will be nothing. I don't expect him to go out of his way to talk or hang out...or anything. I guess by now his title is that of a king or a queen, they're there, but they practically mean nothing...
     
  4. TheSoleOne

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    Hi!

    Im pretty sure if I knew you personally, i'd love to hang out with you; and thats all that matters :slight_smile:. Haha just kidding, but in all seriousness, have you considered in joining a certain club at school or meeting new people in your class? Believe me I know hard it is, but hey! That one blonde kid that you've never talked with may be your future best friend ! :slight_smile:

    Best Regards
    Eric
     
  5. phoenix89

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    I had a very similar experience to you when I was in High School. I had no friends and I still have no friends in my hometown. The thing that help me was going away to college. I got super involved and made some really amazing friends. I also found it easier to make friends in college because you can be away from everything at home and make friends with people for who you are and not what you think they would want you to be. People are more accepting in college than in high school as well.

    People are forced to go to high school and a lot of people hate that, but for the most part, people choose to go to college. They are there because they want to be and are not forced. This allows for people to be more open because they are not as unhappy about being there as they would have been in high school. Since you are 17, college is not that far away. It is a fresh start and you can there and be who you are and not have to worry about it.

    Another thing I have found is that you can become friends with someone out of the weird happenstances. I met my best friend and current roommate at a protest, and the first time we met, it was not the friendliest of meetings. A lot of back-handed and passive aggressive insults were sent my way. I did not response to them, I just let them go. Which was such an amazing thing, because if I would have held on to them, I would not have gotten the chance to become such great friends with him. And we met at a protest, that is not where one expects to meet their best friend, but it happened.

    Things like that can happen to you as well. Just because it may seem like an odd way to meet someone and become friends with them, it is possible. Keep your mind and heart open. There is someone out there who can and will be an amazing friend to you. Just keep your mind open, do not be afraid to be who you are, and keep searching, it will happen.
     
  6. Chierro

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    I guess I should clarify something: I do have friends, but it's not like we're uber close. Like they're being I can chat with at school, but don't know my issues and wouldn't spend time with outside of schools.

    I'm excited for college but also slightly terrified. I'm planning on going to a school that's about 30 minutes from my house where my sister and her boyfriend also go. I can't fully be myself, but more than I can here.

    As for my best friend...he can't catch on to things. He felt the need to tell me that on saturday he went bowling with some mutual friends...again. I'm sorry but I'm getting sick of things. I mean I was having a Once Upon A Time marathon all night, but just an invitation would've been nice...just...something.

    Today wasn't MUCH better. I woke up at 7...I normally leave my house at 7. Was nearly late for first period. That kinda just put a damper on my whole day and it left me kind of stressed. I have a hope of some enjoyment tonight...reliant on if a specific person messages me tonight...as well as Teen Wolf is on...but...yeah.

    I'm literally counting down the days until work where I can see my...fun friends again...47...