Hey guys- new here and would really appreciate some advice. So this woman started working at my gym and I liked her straight away and now I'm crushing badly which means I probably have no concept of whether she likes me in that way. Her: She has what I guess some people would say are stereotypical lesbian features - haircut (half shaved), short nails and into sports but she works at a gym so that could be put down to that. She comes up to chat to me, I hardly ever have to instigate the conversation (the convo is never about training either) While she chats to me she holds eye contact for ages and then turns away to giggle at something I've said. She has poked me and kicked out at me when I have passed by her and not paid her attention. If I touch her arm or stand close to her she doesn't move away. If she is over the other side of the room, I have seen her take a detour to come talk to me- I've not seen her do these things with other people and in fact she doesn't pay my friend this attention and yet we have all trained together. We were chatting one day and she asked if I wanted to go out with and her friends for drinks but that ended up not happening as she said her friends couldn't make a decision as to where they were going but that we still need to go out. She doesn't give anything away as to whether to likes men or women. She is leaving this week and I feel if I don't say anything I'll regret it and of I do and she turns me down then I couldn't handle it. What do you guys think? If I tell her I like her will i look a fool?
It sounds to me like she's at least interested in a friendship, if not more than that. Where is she leaving to? Somewhere permanently? If you can, go out with her. Have drinks, get to talking, share stories, laugh, etc. Maybe the topic of relationships will pop up, or maybe she's wanting to say something to you. Definitely just keep getting to know her. Then you can know for sure whether she's interested, but based on her actions at the gym I think she is. Depending on where she's leaving to, you might have plenty of time to handle this. If she's leaving permanently, then you could bring up the topic of a boyfriend or girlfriend, ask if she has one, and based on her response to that, decide whether or not to tell her.
Hey Tj thanks for the quick reply and advice We are both leaving this gym and going elsewhere so although we are not moving where we live, it cuts down the chance of me seeing her like I do now unless we arrange to meet up. I met her too late as, like you've mentioned, I'd really like more time to chat to her and figure her out. I did try bringing up relationships before when she was training with some guys on valentines and I was like 'lucky you with two boys to train with" and she like "yeah...great" in a sarcastic way and asked if I would be training that day (totally gutted I couldn't train that day).
Ahh ye, haha. Well, see if you can go out for drinks sometime then. Maybe you can score some digits and keep it going.
I think you should definitely organise a meet up what's the worst that can happen you might make a friend. You could go for mutual leaving drinks.
Ok so I got brave and we have been texting tonight! I managed to get in the fact that I have had a girlfriend before and in her reply, she ignored this and answered another part of my text. Unsure if this is a good or bad thing?
Well I think if she carried on texting you then it's not a bad thing. Perhaps she didn't know what to answer to that?. What were her answers like? Did the conversation keep flowing?
Hey guys! Thanks for you advice so far so today was supposed to be her last day....so I will try and keep this update concise...I had been at the gym a while when I saw her on a machine with another PT not far away for me. When I looked up again she was gone and I felt like she must have seen me but didn't say hi so surely this must mean she didn't want to speak to me. I felt crushed and was going to just leave but then thought let's just go stand right there in front of her and see what she does! So I walk to the room I knew she would be and as soon as she saw me she was as she usually is- smiling, eye contact and asking how i was. I said hi and sat down at a bench and then made a lame joke which she laughed at (as usual!). Then the other PT she was with told her to do her set. He was talking to me but I made a joke that my crush had cheated and I sort of put my arm out to point a finger at her and as I did it she went to grab my hand between both of hers but as it was so quick I had already pulled my hand back before she could grab it They left that area for another bit of equipment and I went to get changed. On the way out I went to say goodbye and she told me she was buying a membership so even though she would not be a trainer she would still workout there!! So we all chatted a bit and I was telling them about a guy that grabbed my arm and I touched her arm to show her and again she didn't flinch and kept on looking me in the eye. I can't explain the eye contact thing but when I look at her it's like I'm locked onto her and no one else is in the room. But anyway.... To round it up she asked if I was training Saturday and I said I couldn't and she was like what?! Why not?! So she doesn't seem wary about me being gay and touching her and seems more than happy when I am stood so close we are actually touching. So I'm gonna try to get to know her more these next couple of weeks before I leave and then I think I'm just gonna go for it and tell her unless of course you guys, having an unbiased point of view, think she was just being nice and not wanting to offend me after me telling her I'm gay??
