can long distance relationships work?

50 km are NOTHING, seriously

My relationship is long-distance (much longer than yours ). Hard at times, but we're coping, although it's still pretty fresh.

One of my closest friends met his girlfriend in Rome, they shared an apartment for one year. Then she had to spend one year in Sweden and one in France, for study reasons. They persevered and after two years they were stronger than before and live together again.

 

While I don't consider 50 km long, the fact that you're still quite young (can you drive?) can be a problem. In order for a LDR to work, you need to have (realistic) plans and ideas on how to be together. Personally, I don't really recommend a LDR as you're still young, but it's entirely your call. There are many factors involved, so no one can say for sure.

So before deciding you should ask yourself:
-How will you two meet, and how often?
-Any plans to move away (college, work, etc.)?
-Do YOU think it could work?
-Does he want to be in a LDR?

You could go for it and see how it goes. It's not so bad as people make it out to be.

 

For me I would never waste my time on it personally. . I understand in some situations online dating is the only way to communicate with other guys and I totally get that i been through several online relationships and most of there are flirty and fun at first and than you may go two to three months without meeting and than he forgets you existed. I am in the my first committed relationship now and I meet this guy online so it can work if your in the same area but if your miles away it can really hard to maintain a relationship.

However if you don't mind the risk of getting hurt by some guy and doing a lot of online dating than I would say go for it. There is not really a wrong answer here.

 

I'm not in one right now, but the girl I have been pursuing since 2011 lives 6 hours away from me by car. I did date her in 2011, but now were both single even though we both have feelings for each other, because it wouldn't be realistic.. she's in University right now and meeting new people and I can't really blame her if she wants to enjoy herself. I do really hope that it's me and her in the end though.

I do think it can work, but it is really hard. You get to a point where you just want to be able to take them out on a date, hold their hand, kiss them do all the things couples who live in the same area get to do. It's very frustrating where all you want to do is be in the same room as that person, but I think it's really worth it when you finally get to. Plus I think a big bonus is the emotional connection, since there is nothing physical I think there is a lot more communication and you get to know the person before you ever even see them.

 

It depends.
Not only on factors already mentioned by Night Rain, but also on the type of relationship you (and he) like to have.
If you are like me and show affection more physically (even just hugs and hand holding) it might be alot harder. Personally its never worked for me.
Good luck either way.

 

If you're really patient, than yes.

 

i don't think they work.

 

Absolutely. They work. ^_^
My boyfriend and I have passed the two-year anniversary mark and we've been long-distance the entire time. He lives in Iowa, I live in Kansas (about 229 miles, 370 km).

Communication is the key to success. You have to be willing to communicate about everything.

 

This. If you feel like you'll be able to make it work don't deny yourself of hapiness. Many people have had successful long distance relationships.

 

Hey I think they can but I think you have to be realistic about the situation. There are easier where the distance is a temporary thing. My relationship with my girlfriend began as a long distance one but now we live together. I don't think I could have continued the long distance relationship indefinitely forever but we made it work for the time until we could sort something out. If it's a distance you can cover at the weekend and you can see each other reasonably often then I definitely think they can work. If is a situation where neither of you can or would want to move to where the other person is then for me it could never work. I guess it depends on what you want from the relationship.

 

I think it's easier to maintain a LDR now, than say 10 or 15 years ago. With mobile phones, e-mail, skype, IM, Facebook etc. there are plenty of ways of keeping open the communication channels. The secret is to text often, talk daily and meet up as often as possible. Trust is also really essential.

50km is easily done.

 

It can add some strain and insecurity, but long-distance relationships can definitely work. I'm not sure if anyone will agree with me on this, and maybe they shouldn't since I don't have much basis for reference having never been in a relationship myself, but I think in many ways communicating primarily online can build a stronger foundation for when you eventually get together than if you had immediately met in person. While you don't have all the non-verbal cues to go off of, it can be easier to share more personal thoughts and feelings than it would be face-to-face, especially when you're just starting out.

With that said, I don't consider 50 km to be a long-distance relationship; I drive about that distance to and from work every day. It may be a little bit more complicated if you're not able to drive yet (a quick Google search indicates the driving age is 17 in the Netherlands), that's only temporary and even if transportation is a little bit harder to come by the reality is he's only half an hour away.

I'm happy to hear that you've found someone so soon after coming out. Give him a chance!

 

hmmm...i was in a long distance relationship for 1.5 year. we met up personally, and spent several weeks together. it's just like other relationships i had, except this one was more emotionally fulfilling, and just like any relationship, it hurts like hell when it ended.

it is mental torture, so be prepared.

 

I agree. What you say makes a lot of sense. You can share a lot with each other online (as long as you exercise a little bit of caution) and really get to know someone quite well.

Before I met my partner, we exchanged loads of long e-mails and it was kinda fun waiting for the replies. We had loads to talk about on our first date and because of all the 'groundwork' we really clicked.

 

It only works if your partner is rich and/or can afford seeing you on a regular basis. I had a girlfriend who moved to Australia and it pretty much ended after a couple of months. My boyfriend and partner of 2 years originally came from Canada, we met somewhere in Saudi and now we're living together comfortably somewhere in a tropical Asia.

So basically 3 things to work a LDR

- open line of communication
- lots of time and money
- TRUST (most important!)

 

I've been in a long distant relationship once a few years back, my ex girlfriend lived 400km away. We were lucky to get it work, and the reason of our break up wasn't the distance. Of course there were always tears when we had to say goodbye, but when we got together it was worth all the time spent apart.

You have to trust your partner and they have to trust you, too. I think it's important that you both have independent lives. Otherwise it'll drive you crazy if you're sitting at home counting the days to see your loved one again. It also depends on a person if they miss others a lot or not. But yea, I'd say long distance relationships can work :--)

 

My sister and her husband handled the 3000 mile difference quite well It all depends on how committed you are. I would go ahead and say that knowing the person in the flesh is a contributing factor to how long the relationship can last.