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Overcoming fear of physical intimacy with love

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by rainmustfall, Mar 13, 2014.

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  1. rainmustfall

    rainmustfall Guest

    I recently told someone I care very deeply about that I am in love with them. I have no idea if they are willing or able to love me back the same way yet, but I really feel I need to overcome my fear of intimacy if they do. I was sexually abused when I was young multiple times and so I am very hyper-aware of personal boundaries. This makes it very hard to be comfortable expressing myself physically even though I am comfortable with my orientation. This is the first person that I have ever truly desired to be with, that I love deeply enough to trust and I want to be able to overcome this. I have never even cuddled with someone, let alone made love or had sex with someone I have been attracted to. How do I get past my fear?
     
    #1 rainmustfall, Mar 13, 2014
  2. Ettina

    Ettina
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    Have you told this person about the abuse?

    From what I've heard, overcoming this fear requires that your partner be very sensitive to your cues, and that you are honest about how you feel. Don't try to hide when you're getting scared. If you start getting scared while being intimate, pull back and talk about your feelings until you feel calm again. Then you can try again.
     
    #2 Ettina, Mar 13, 2014
  3. rainmustfall

    rainmustfall Guest

    Yes I have told them about it. Thank you for the advice and I will keep it in mind should the situation actually happen.
     
    #3 rainmustfall, Mar 13, 2014
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