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Is he flirting with me? (all comments are welcomed and appreciated)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ALilConfused, Mar 13, 2014.

  1. ALilConfused

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    So... this is kind of strange, but there's this guy at my job who's gotten really friendly with me.

    He calls me things like "boo" and "baby" and is really touchy feely (not in a naughty way, just like putting his hand on my shoulder and stuff). He sometimes complements me on the way I look and even calls me sexy sometimes in a joking sort of way. He likes to hug me, but he usually only does that when there's no one around to see it happen. He one time made a comment about kissing me, but he passed it off sort of as a joke.

    I'm kind of nervous about saying anything because he seems to identify as being straight (he talks about girls a lot), but I'm definitely attracted to him.

    I moved here about a year ago (I'm in California now), so I'm not sure if it's normal for the straight people here to act like this or something. I've been working with him for about 5 months now, so we've known each other for about that time.

    Can anyone give any advice on what I should do? Should I try finding out if he's interested or should I just wait things out and see where they go?
     
  2. MessieM

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    I cannot give you advice on Californians, as I'm all the way on a little island in a stormy sea, and even if I could it would all be stereotypical and unhelpful.

    The question that I would like to pose is: Does He Know You Are Gay? Not to sound in any way insensitive, but he could be playing with your emotions, flirting with you to see if he could get a reaction out of you being a straight guy. He may be one of those mean people who get a kick out of it or find it amusing

    On the other hand... he could be bisexual. What you are describing seems like he is trying EXTREMELY HARD to get across his attraction to you, and is constantly looking for excuses to have your attention and to have contact. The fact that he is talking about kissing with you could be a tactic to see how you react to this like he is testing the waters, and to even place the possibility in your mind. It may be even his way to try and get you to make the first move or something. If he calls you sexy even jokily... yes, he most likely is attracted to you.

    Then again, it could just be his personality. He could just be a really really nice person... like my crush *sigh*
     
  3. WhiteShadows

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    Well... I once came out to a coworker by saying:
    "Damn that kid (a customer) was cute"
    It was the smoothest coming-out I ever had (and I haven't even really told many people)... idk... I just found it really comfortable.

    If you think it's safe, I'd recommend coming out to him too. Then maybe he'll give you a better idea of what he thinks. Although I gotta say hugging when nobody else around seems kind of... well... gay... :wink:
    What kind of hug was it? Was it the tight hug with head buried in neck type hug?
     
  4. Saint Otaku

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    From my experience, straight boys have the unfortunate habit of "acting gay." I mean, I get that they're trying to be friendly and familiar, but I've heard of gay kids misinterpreting stuff like that, which is a bit sad. I've been exposed to this bromantic-behavior, and don't mind it too much, for I'm very skeptical to anyone liking me.

    Still, he may be gay. If I were you, I'd just wait and judge his behavior. Asking him his sexuality too directly might make him defensive if he assumes you are straight.
     
  5. ALilConfused

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    I haven't told him I'm gay, but I have a feeling that he might have found out through the way I act.

    I don't mean that I'm flamboyant or anything (I don't want to refer to myself as "straight-acting", but that's what most people would call me), but I think he might have noticed my body language when I was around him. I kinda get nervous around hot guys :grin:

    Yeah, it's weird... I mean, if this were a straight situation and I was a girl (or if he was the girl), then pretty much anyone would say that the attraction is obvious... but you can never be too safe when it comes to situations like this. I mean, I've heard of ridiculous bromance situations (like one of the previous posters mentioned).

    He's definitely an extrovert, but I've never seen him get this friendly with another guy before.

    ---------- Post added 14th Mar 2014 at 05:30 AM ----------

    Yeah, I think it'd probably be safe to come out to him. I mean, I'm in one of the more liberal areas of the state, so most people wouldn't have a problem with it.

    Still, for some reason, I get so nervous at the thought of coming out to someone...

    Usually, it's just a normal hug you'd have with any of your family members (or friends, if you hug them a lot, too), but there was one time when he had a bad day and he kind of rested his head on my shoulder when I was giving him a goodbye hug. It was cute, lol.

    ---------- Post added 14th Mar 2014 at 05:39 AM ----------

    Yeah, I've seen straight guys get kinda gay with each other just as kind of a joke between them, but the guy I'm talking about seems to be taking it a little further than that.

    Then again, it might just be the area I'm in now.
     
    #5 ALilConfused, Mar 14, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2014
  6. PurpleGrey

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    I've never really heard of his bromantic flirting stuff the other's are talking about. This concept is foreign to me.

    It's easier to know from the outside, so maybe if you took all the details of the situation and applied them to two imaginary people, it would be easier to figure out.

    Perhaps if you do the same ambiguous flirting back, and see how that goes?
     
  7. ALilConfused

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    You know how straight girls love to flirt with each other a lot for whatever reason?

    Some straight guys who are really close friends are kind of like that with each other too, to a lesser degree.

    If I were viewing something like what's been going on with me and this dude with a different pair of people, then I would definitely think they were interested with each other. Still, I feel like the fact that I like the guy makes me biased, regardless of how I try to look at the situation.

    How should I flirt? What things should I say?
     
  8. Kachcharghan

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    Try taking him out of the work environment and ask if he'd like to hang out with you. Then, see if his attitude toward you changes, or better yet, vindicates the inkling that he is attracted to you.
     
  9. ALilConfused

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    Sounds like an interesting idea. I guess we haven't really spent time with each other outside of work before.

    Does anyone have tips on being a good flirt? I don't want to be completely obvious, but I want to send some kind of hints out there.
     
  10. thrnvlpidj

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    Workplace romances??? Would you miss your job if things went badly?
     
  11. ALilConfused

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    I have two jobs, so no.
     
  12. Aquarius

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    Hi Alilconfused,

    find your post very interseting! as I'm in a similar situation yet I'm the "straight guy"... check out my post:

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/129335-totaly-confused.html

    If your interested in him, like really interested then all I can say is from the straight guy's point of view is find a way to let him know... wish I would get a clear sign one way or the other :eusa_doh: