I've been crushing hard on this girl that I hooked up with in January and I can't get that last bit of hope that she will come around out of my system what happened was that we were talking as roommates for 2 or 3 months then one night we end up drinking and talking about life she brings up that she likes kissing girls but has never been in a sexual or romantic relationship with one I told her I was bi and lean more towards women and been in long term relationships with girls anyways long story short is that I ended up sleeping with her the next morning she asked me what would happen if one of us had feelings for the other and I said idk I was tired and said we could talk later then later came and she said she just wanted to have fun which I don't believe because she got off and enjoyed it and said she felt guilty to the point it upset her a lot then she got into a relationship with some guy from work they have only been going out a month and a half and she already says she loves him and vise versa some people are saying she ran scared and is trying to be heterosexual with this guy it hurts to see them together but she doesn't seem happy and I want her we are currently not talking because I said some nasty things calling her a slut etc I'm just hurt kkowing that she knew I liked girls and there was a possibility I could develop feelings she told me she had feelings then took them back and now she won't break up with her bf and I wasn't expecting their relationship to last even a week but now it's on almost 2 months what should I do? I feel I should keep trying but I don't know she may be just terrified should I talk to her in person? The only time I've talked to her was through text I just don't want her falling for this guy but in the same sense since she had a bf I feel I should let her come to me others are saying I should talk to her and tell her in there for her if she ever needs to talk I'm so confused I hope she breaks it off soon with this guy but idk since the relationship has lasted a month is it possible she actually has real feelings for this guy?
It sound like she may have been confused and when you didn't seem to initially return the feelings, she could've felt a form of rejection. Now she may be trying to move past it. I think the best thing you can do is apologise for the insults and be there for her as a friend. She needs to work through her own feelings/confusions on her own. Allow yourself to be a friend to talk to about this stuff if she wants too. It's hard to tell if she does or doesn't like the guy, it's possible, but again, it isn't. I'd stick to trying to rebuild your relationship as friends. Don't bring up what happened that night and wait for her to do it. That's the best advice I can think up.
You need to talk to her in person and be honest with your feelings towards her. At least by then, you'll get your answers. Otherwise, you'll end up with "what ifs".
She said that she just doesn't see herself with a women but now she's been dating this guy a month and supposedly she's in love him with already and going to move in together idk I actually spoke with my landlord about it today because even she noticed that my roommate was super happy and having fun with me and now seems miserable with her boyfriend my landlord also understands my frustration because she said my roommate opened up her heart to me then started dating this guy right after she doesn't understand why we're not on speaking terms after being so happy together she knew of our relationship and thought we were going to go somewhere with it but maybe she's afraid of what people would say? She hasn't introduced this guy to her friends or family yet but he did then he says they're ancient lovers he's 33 and lives at home still even tho he has a job with military my landlord agrees that they don't look like a couple that would be together tho that doesn't matter I'm just seeing why they are still together maybe it's cause he has money? It's literally driving me insane but she said she would move out in May so I can move on from this then I hear from my landlord she's undecided still and she had the option of switching rooms so I wouldn't be near her but didn't and she gets mad at me for the dumbest things now and drinks a lot
The thing is, what are your plans right now? And if you can still talk to her in person, that would be better so you can clear all the stuff you've been meaning to discuss with her. I think that would help a lot, for both of you. If she really wanted to try the relationship with that guy, you have to let her be. Then in the meantime, try to build another world without her. Sounds easy, but it really is not. The decisions are still yours to make.
a part of me wants to clear it up but i dont want to seem pushy, ive noticed she does things i do and is becoming interested in things i do for instance she is befriending all these surfer/outdoorsy people and im a surfer/outdoorsy, i drink mikes hard lemonade shes changed her taste in alcohol to mikes hard, i mean those are dumb and stupid things to notice but she wasnt into that stuff before, its very confusing, and what do you mean by my plans? and do you think id come off as pushy if i tried again to reconcile our differences but this time in person not over text messages? i did tell her i was seeing someone but i just said that because she got into a relationship with this guy and i felt hurt
When I asked you what are your plans, I'm asking what's your next step? Would you really just let it go, just like that with all uncertainties pounding on your head? She may take it that your a little bit pushy, but somethings are better confided in person than in text messages. Or if you don't want to be very personal, try writing a letter but hand it over in person and ask her to read it in front of you. Tell her everything is in the paper already and all you need is clarity from her side. Then after that, you'll decide what's your next step be. Either you'll get closure and then you can move on or you'll get a different answer and you have to wait or you just forget everything. This is just a suggestion. Again, everything is still up to you. I'm just hearing your thoughts and sending my views and opinions. Good Luck!
Thank you it's definitely very confusing right now since I went on vacation and wasn't around for days as soon as I got back she started staying at her boyfriends for days and the same day I left for vacation she told everyone that she left on vacation to go back to her home it's really weird that her actions are saying she missed me but she's still all over her boyfriend I think I could definitely move on as long as I know there is no chance of her changing her mind
