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Is it wrong to ask some help?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Motheus, Mar 16, 2014.

  1. Motheus

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    Hello everyone...

    I'm not really out... just for two of my friends, and it was a really hard step, but i made it recently... But something is worring me...

    I'm already 18 years old, and never kissed anyone, and am affraid to be alone. I DON'T want to be alone. One of my distant cousins is gay, and he lives alone, he never dated anyone... Oh God, i don't want this... I need someone.

    One of my friends entered in college recently, and said that in her classroom most people are women, and the a few are men, and mostly men are gay...

    So i thought, is that wrong of my part asking her to find someone for me? Would it be nasty or disgusting in some peoples eye?
     
  2. TJ

    TJ
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    Hey man. :slight_smile: Welcome to EC, btw.

    You have nothing to worry about. You are not alone when you say you're 18 and you've never kissed someone.
    I guarantee multiple people will respond telling you that they haven't either - it's 100% normal, especially for gay men who aren't even totally out of the closet yet.

    When you get to college there will be a much larger population of gay men, and you'll have much better luck finding a date.

    As far as asking your friend for help finding a guy - That's not nasty. That's not disgusting. It's just unconventional. Most people typically find a date themselves, but if your friend sees a guy that you might be interested in and then relays his name back to you, maybe you can pursue the relationship?

    If you were asking her to ask men out for you, then I think the guys might be a bit timid to accept that, but if you're the one approaching them for a date, they've no reason to be scared up front.
     
  3. resu

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    Don't ever feel like you're in a rush. That can lead to hasty decisions. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for help to look for gay guys. They're a minority, so the first hurdle is just finding them. However, your friend should look for guys more than just by their sexuality. Try to ask her to find someone who might be compatible with you, such as sharing the same interests.
     
  4. R999

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    Don't be rushed. As long as you become confident in who you are, other people will find you attractive. You're still super young. The fact that you know you don't want to be like your cousin will help you be more proactive when it comes to finding a partner!
     
  5. Motheus

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    It's a little hard to Think "i'm still young", but thank you,guys.

    I'm a little shy,and never talked to a boy that way, and that's onde of the reasons i thought in asking my friend.
    Oh, another reason is that we have the same tastes... We love books, classic music poetry, etc... Just like what i hope the boys in her classroom would be like, since she is studying literature...

    Well... Thank you all for the advices