Okay.The only reason I am probably being so open is because I had some alcohol before the time hehe.In any case,here goes: I tend to be misinterpreted by people.People think I am okay to hang out with in the beginning but give it some time and then they want very little to do with me.I most probably make them pretty uncomfortable as well.It often feels like everything I say comes out the wrong way.Kinda sucks,because I seem to have become overly apologetic and careful.This applies to people in general.Some background: When I was a child I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome.I was also suspected to have ADHD.In my teen years depression took hold.Pretty badly.At the age of 17 things seemed to be improving however,although problems were still present.My one friend suggested that I needed to chill out a bit and go see a doctor for meds to help me relax.So a pretty long,and rather confusing journey with multiple diagnoses and countless medication combinations took place.Prob is the medication did not seem to help and the diagnoses became extremely vague and confusing.The fact that people could not give me a clear answer as to the question of what is wrong,does not exactly make me feel at ease either.So I decided to stop seeing professionals and just get an antidepressant from the GP.Which has helped tremendously.The problem is there are people that think that I do not really have mental health issues on the one hand and others that exaggerate it.I have come to the conclusion that I am a grey area best left alone.The problem is because I do not have a clear diagnosis(although aspergers and depression makes the most sense)people seem to not really have any understanding when I go through a rough time.I was in a really bad state when I saw professionals however.I feel that I am just a person that does not handle medication all that well.I am feeling better these days but I do not know how to help people to understand that yes,something is wrong,please be patient with me,I just do not feel I belong in a specific mental health category.Because people have hurt me before I have some major trust issues as well and tend to push people away when they come too close for comfort.Either that or I become to invloved and get hurt all over again.Any advice would be appreciated.Thanx.PS Apologies for rambling on,hope no1 is bored with me.If anyone managed to read this to the ned then I am impressed and grateful.
Should probably not have posted that... ---------- Post added 18th Mar 2014 at 03:07 AM ---------- I am not going to apologize.This is how I feel.This is a step forward and I should be proud that I am able to be open about something so personal.
Hmm. And are you comfortable that way or do you want to change it? I don't see any reason for you to apologize btw.
I am comfortable with being different.But I do not like the fact that I push others away.Just scared of getting hurt again.But I suppose that is silly. ---------- Post added 18th Mar 2014 at 07:04 AM ---------- Take note different not in the sense of a special little snowflake.Different in the sense of not conforming to the norm.
Okay.I could either talk about the past(and to be able to do that it would require me to provide information that I do not feel comfortable in sharing)or I could wait for an answer on a silver platter or I can use my head and take some action.Option 3 seems to make the most sense.
I believe that there are more people like you than you think. Even for the people who were not diagnosed with anything it can be difficult to open up. It's not unreasonable to have the wall around yourself. Sure, some have it thicker. Do you feel like you really actively push them away? Or do they just not understand?
Most of the time they do not understand ---------- Post added 18th Mar 2014 at 07:39 AM ---------- I used to be extremely open at some stage and got hurt.So am a bit overly cautious at times.But it usually does not last long. ---------- Post added 18th Mar 2014 at 07:41 AM ---------- I know there are others.I just feel alone thats all.
As far as I know Asberger can cause lack of understanding of other people's emotions. The person sometimes says hurtful things without meaning it badly. It can be difficult for the person to understand what other people feel. They want clear answers a solutions. Depression often means that you are feeling alone and not accepted or understood. And bad previous experiences always mean that you become more careful.
Prob is I do not really fit into asperger category that well.Nor in the other categories that were made.
That doesn't matter Even the people who fit in it can be different. Perhaps you could talk to your friends and ask them to tell you what they don't like or understand. Then you can try to work on it or warn your future friends and ask them for understanding.
Just when I or others think they have me ''diagnosed'' then I begin contradicting the symptoms. ---------- Post added 18th Mar 2014 at 07:57 AM ---------- I am okay.I am fine just the way I am.My cousin suggests that I write a blog.I really want to but something is holding me back. ---------- Post added 18th Mar 2014 at 07:59 AM ---------- Will ask my friends.The few I have anyway ---------- Post added 18th Mar 2014 at 08:02 AM ---------- Thanx for the advice.Feel a bit better now.Think I will attempt to blog as well.
Yes, I know you want clear answers. Try to accept that every man is different and all symptoms hardly ever match the textbooks. Concentrate on those that match, not on the missing ones. And then try to slowly work on them. Maybe it won't be possible, but perhaps if the people will see that you are trying, they will try to understand to. Writing a blog can be great. Just do it for yourself. Not for others or for them to love you. It is hard to find readers and if you do it just to chase comments or numbers of views, it won't make you happy. Do it for you. Enjoy the time you will dedicate to it. If you learn that it is more like a chore, try to find something else that will make you feel good about yourself.
Hi.Thanks for that.I seem to go through phases of wanting clear answers and phases where I want no answer at all...I will attempt to blog.I suppose I can be a bit of a people pleaser at times,but would really like to do it out of my own.The creative aspect gets a bit tricky when feeling down but will work on the low feelings.Thanks again for the response.
It used to be that way before the meds.Wrote some pretty hectic poetry hehe.Should attempt writing again.
That's understandable, your emotions have changed a lot. Maybe you could try to change the genre? Explore other possibilities?
maybe you're more comfortable being a loner. There really isn't anything wrong with that, hang out when you want to hang out, don't hang out when you don't want to. If you try to hang out when you don't feel like it then you get irritated and people notice that, and they start walking away.
Hi Nick07 that sounds like a good idea. Vskokrew- Its the complete opposite although I do have times when I need alone time more often than most I suppose.But being a loner gets lonely and loneliness turns into depression and depression turns into denial and denial turns into impulsivity so yeah,should perhaps choose friends more wisely in general,avoid those that have a negative impact on me,and make myself happy before I make others happy.Thats bound to make others more supportive as well.
