Over the past year I've gradually got used to the idea of actually being attracted to women, not freaking out every time I feel sapphic desire, and being more open with people close to me. I've also started going to LGBT events and have felt far more comfortable than in the past, i.e. not feeling so overwhelmed I might pass out from hyperventilation. I feel affirmed when people don't automatically assume I'm straight, and that I am obviously pinging people's gaydars! However, I still find it difficult to cross the boundary from being attracted to women, to doing something about it before it's too late. There was one woman recently who I bravely approached, but then she turned out to be straight :bang: Another one I had dated a few times, and through fear never made a move, and now she has a girlfriend :bang: (this is despite her initially telling me she liked me). There have been a couple others I would have liked to have pursued, but they are now moving away in a couple of months :bang: I just am really scared I will get it all wrong with them, and it will be embarrassing if it all does go wrong. I also don't want to hurt them. Any advice?
One problem I find is all too often women don't make the first move. Be it shyness, fear of rejection, whatever, all too often women go to clubs but never take the initiative to take a step further to find love. I'm guilty of it too. I don't approach women because I have low self esteem but I think it's a shame when women don't pursue someone they're attracted to because they worry they might end up embarrassed. I say good on the girls who have the confidence to hit on others, even if they're barking up the wrong tree. There is no harm in asking a woman if she wants to go out for coffee/lunch/drinks etc. because that can simply be a friend gesture and doesn't feel like there are any expectations. If they agree then at the very least you should get a good friend out of it. (^_^) If you don't try then sure, you'll never "fail", but by the same token you will never "succeed". Best of luck to you.
Thanks An0n. I guess it's all quite new and am generally rather inexperienced with women. There somehow seems to be far more at stake emotionally than previously when I just wanted a 'traditional' life and to be married with 2.4 children. Men were more like a means to an end, whereas women are just like, 'wow', if that makes sense?!
I think when it's new you feel more pressure to find a great relationship to almost prove yourself/your sexuality to friends and family. You think perhaps you're apprehensive because you worry about slipping up?
