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What to do? I like him, but I don't want do go too far...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by lostlifeguard, Mar 18, 2014.

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  1. lostlifeguard

    lostlifeguard
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    So, I made a post about this same guy a little while back, and I'm about to do it again. Sorry I guess.

    So, this past weekend we were at a party, and me and the guy, and a bunch of my friends were hanging out. Then, we got to the main party, and we all got split up. At this point it got hectic since we'd all been drinking (we're in college). I ended up finally telling my friend that I liked him, and in my drunken state asked her to talk to him for me. Then I didn't see anyone else for the rest of the night.

    Turns out she was fairly drunk too because she straight up asked him if he would hookup with me. Then him and her ended up having a long talk about his life or something and he told her a lot of things about his life. I don't know what his reply to any of this was. I feel really awkward since she asked him straight up about hooking up with me, but she refuses to tell me anything because she promised him.

    What should I do in this situation? I really want to know what his reaction about me was, and I might be able to pry into what they talked about, but I feel like it might have been really personal in which case I feel bad prying.
    On the other hand, I'd like to know how he feels about me so that I don't ruin our friendship by making advances etc... ugh help.
     
    #1 lostlifeguard, Mar 18, 2014
  2. AKTodd

    AKTodd
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    It seems to me you're going to have to just talk to him, starting by apologizing for sending your mutual friend to talk to him instead of doing it yourself. Then explain that you are wondering if he'd be interested in seeing if you could be more than friends, although you'll totally understand if he just wants to stay friends.

    Or something along those lines. You need to be prepared for the possibility that he only wants to be friends - but you're never going to know one way or the other if you don't talk to him.

    Todd
     
    #2 AKTodd, Mar 18, 2014
  3. jonnemack

    jonnemack
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    Well, this "wingman" you had didn't really pay off, right?

    Honestly, don't be too worried, mister. You have the chance to talk to him, since she was drunk as you said, she may have said a lot of bullshit and you have the opportunity to fix it by talking directly to him.

    Just state that your friend told you about the long conversation the two had and then say that once you had the same conversation with her, even if you guys didn't. Why such a white lie? Cause it's a chance for you to ask your friend if that girl friend of yours actually said anything about you in that conversation. Why that question? Cause you can finish it up saying that you told her a lot about him, this guy you like.

    Then you are kinda ready to have some conversation about your feelings without having to go straight to that mess your friend made. Sounds like a plan? ^^
     
    #3 jonnemack, Mar 18, 2014
  4. lostlifeguard

    lostlifeguard
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    Ok. I think I'll try to ask her what she thinks first just so I can get a feel for what he said. If it was a clear no then I'm not going to bother, and since she hasn't said anything, I think that could be the case.
    If I do end up asking him, any advice on what to say, so that in the case of rejection it's not awkward in the future?
     
    #4 lostlifeguard, Mar 18, 2014
  5. pianoguy88

    pianoguy88
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    You could always get to know him better, and test the waters during the time you spend together. Who knows. You may discover you don't like him so much after all. He may discover that he likes you.

    No promises. I'm just trying to suggest that, if you're willing to be patient, you've got other options than relying on an unreliable friend or asking outright.
     
    #5 pianoguy88, Mar 18, 2014
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