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I feel like my girlfriend is shaming me

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by charlavail, Mar 19, 2014.

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  1. charlavail

    charlavail
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    I've been dating my girlfriend for about 2 months now, and she's my first everything. She is older than me, and WAY more sexually experienced than I am. I told her straight up from the start I was a complete virgin and I was pretty much starting from the beginning. She still decided to continue this relationship and become official.

    Recently, as we were getting closer physically, I feel like she's starting to shame me. Apart from the fact that I am a virgin, I've never had the urge to masturbate, and I don't want to. She says she doesn't know how I can let someone else touch me if I haven't done it myself and that it can cause problems. I feel like she's not really taking into consideration my feelings and how I feel about masturbating. I don't care if she, or anyone else does it. Personally, I don't want to.

    I feel like recently I've been more affectionate. I don't know if she's getting annoyed by me and I need to leave her alone, or if she's having second thoughts about being with be because I am so inexperienced and a virgin.
     
    #1 charlavail, Mar 19, 2014
  2. Chip

    Chip
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    Hi,

    It does sound like your girlfriend is shaming you. This sort of experience -- the exertion of power and control -- is one of the main problems with older/younger relationships. If you want the relationship to be healthy, and if you are to be able to develop independence and your own self-confidence, it's important for you to stand up for yourself.

    Your body is yours. It's no one else's place to tell you when or if you should masturbate and, for that matter, when and if you should have any sexual experience with anyone, including your partner.

    Communication is key. You need to talk to her about how you're feeling shamed, and also ask her what she's feeling, whether she's annoyed with you, and so forth. The relationship can't be healthy if there isn't honest communication between the two of you.
     
    #2 Chip, Mar 19, 2014
  3. An0n

    An0n
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    Drop her.

    It's one thing for your gf to give advice and guidance with love making but she (nor anybody else) should pressure you into anything you don't want to do. She appears to have no consideration for your feelings and therefore has little or no respect for you.
     
    #3 An0n, Mar 19, 2014
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