Totaly confused!

Hi all :smilewave

allow me to briefly introduce myself, i'm a 36 year old male and have alway's termed myself as being straight or whatever that means. I have had many relationships with women and am very atracted towomen in general yet I have recently started a new job and theres this guy I used to run in to in the smokers room, (have recently stopped smoking ). On seeing him the first thought that went through my head was exactly this, f*** he's hot! The second thought was, if I was ever going to expeiment then it would have to be definaitly be with him! Okay enough said about that, on getting home that evening I felt confused.... what just came over me :help: I shook my sholders and tried to put the thought to one said telling myself the idea was crazy.

Two weeks pass.... I get transferred to a different team within the work place and who turns out tobe my teamleader :eek: yep,you guessed it... the hot guy from the smokers room. He invites me to his office for a chat, I walk in shake hands and take a seat, we start talking work related stuff at first and then personal stuff.... He starts off asking me what I've done prior to joining the company, personal situation, married or not etc. My reply is swift, I'm a single dad, have a 12 year old child... an expression of "oh" wow leaves his mouth, he seems suprised (I look 26 not 36, so I get this expression often from different people, I'mused to it). He then proceeds to look at my arms, I have my sleeves rolled up and my tattoos are showing, he seems very keen to ask allabout them. Then it's my turn to ask questions...ofcourse the first thing I ask is... so, do you have any children yourself? (was guessing he was close to my age). To this he sort of blew me away with his response as I wasn't expecting it, he replied, no, I don't have any children, something which isn't likely to happen in the near future either. okay I thought to myself, this guy isn't into kids, no problem... and before I can correct myself I find myself in deffensive mode and say.. why? U don't like kids?:tantrum: ..... to which he smiles and say's no, don't get me wrong i love kids, theyre great, I have a niece and two nephews. The reason is simple, he looks at me with a proud face and replies, I'm gay. My jaw drops in amazement, my mouth goes dry and I fumble and stammer for a bit. (thought goes through my head, oh... my..god... the hot guy's gay!)

He then proceeds to ask me where my accent's from, (I'm English and have a Cockney accent, London area for those who don't know what a Cockney accent is). He replies,oh god I love England, please feel free to try out your Cockney rhyming slang on me anythime, I love it!

That was that..... On my way home I kept going over and over the whole conversation in my head, telling myself he's hot and cute one minute, then in the next instance I'm fighting myself, and asking myself what just came over me, am I right in the head... I'mnot gay, nor bi... am I?:help:

Didn't sleep much that night and the next day at work I ran intohim several times, stood close to him several times, I could smell him, god his smell :rolle: , the way he speaks... amazing, I'm getting a feeling in my stomach which I have only ever felt when crushing on a woman... Anyway's ..... to cut a long story short i'm now debaiting and trying to find out whether I like him or whether it'sjust a crush or phase I'm going through.... Does he like me, was he hitting on me or am i imagining it, how doI discretely let him know I'm interested, as the work situation is quite delicate... there's no rule within our companies pollicies to stop employees dating, so thats not an issue here.... experiences or infor would be very welcome thank you :icon_bigg

 

Thanks for your reply sexwax,

you've given me food for thought,:icon_wink working through it is a definate thing that would need to be done.... #ponders in silence, what to de next :eusa_doh:

 

Thanks foryour reply MMF, will give this a thought :icon_bigg

---------- Post added 19th Mar 2014 at 01:00 PM ----------

Thanks foryour reply White Knight,

this is for me, the first time I have felt atracted to a guy... guess I'm not alone out there then! :icon_bigg

Guess I'm just biding my time at the minute... comming to terms and accepting who I am then seeing where things lead I guess...

 

Thanks guy's

 

So saw him alot today, plenty to talk about.... we had a staff meeting with a presentation given by two guys in suits, was clear from his comments (afterwards) that he's not into tall guys in suits .... had a briefing afterwards just the two of us... the moment to let on was there... what did I do... Nothing :S ... think I was pushing myself a bit, he was asking personal stuff.. think he's testing the water? I mean can a gay guy sence if an outwardly straight gay is inwardly gay or atracted to him?

 

Counting on his good Gaydar at the moment ......

 

So was gonna keep u's posted on the latest... not that much has happened apart from the fact that he clocked me staring and gazing at him from my desk..... locked eyes for a few seconds and i looked away as did he ... :eusa_doh: deep in thought and in aw of him from a distance ....... this is allnew to me ...put me in a room of women and I'm quite the charmer .... this on the on the other hand ... new ground to me

 

Thanks for your replies guy's, much apreciated.

Working up the courage to ask him out for a drink sometime ...... something dawned on me though... I have caught him doing the same thing to me as I did to him yesterday.... staring at me, soon as I look up he looks away swiftly... didn't give it a second thought to be quite honest..... Untill yesteday when I caught myself doing the same..... what say you's ?