I have a close friend. When I met them, I knew that they would be special from the moment I laid eyes on them. They understand how I think, how I feel, what I value, and I love them with all my heart. Everything was great, and we got closer and closer as time progressed. We had planned on working together, and basically spending a life together. That was great, but now everything seems to be falling apart. Ever since around the New Year, I have become aware that the bond we share is becoming something more. I started to fall in love with them. I tried to fight it. I really really did. I wanted to call them every day, but I did my best to wait for them to call me, and to give them space to live their own life in their own way. Nothing I did stopped the fall though, and it eventually just became too much to take. I had to tell them how I felt because it was tearing me apart from the inside out. I can't help how I feel, and it was affecting my ability to function on a daily basis. I thought our friendship would be strong enough to withstand this. We tell each other we love each other deeply, and I had thought we could just talk it out, and if they said they didn't feel the same, we could still be friends and I could just get over it. Instead, the person I value most in the world has shut me off, and all I want is my friend. I didn't want to keep a secret any more. I don't know if they are scared because they feel the same way and thought that I was just giving up on them, or if they just want me out of their life for good. All I want is to get a chance at a fresh start with them, but I don't know how to fix this. I fucked up because of something I just can't help. How do I fix this? Romantic love doesn't come easy to me. I can't just go and date people and forget about this, because attraction doesn't work that way for me. I have for form a bond of trust for a very long period of time and then *maybe* I will be attracted to someone. In fact, this person is the only person I have ever had strong attraction to. I never meant for that to happen, but it did and now I am horrified at what I have lost because of it. I just want a chance to love someone like everyone else, but now it looks like I blew it. It is the damage to our friendship that I really hurt over though. What can I do?
I really wish they could just see how I loved them and that I never meant to hurt them. Yes, I am in love, but I am still me. If they feel the same, I would love them the rest of my days and die happy. I don't think they will ever know or read this, but I sure wish they would just take a chance.
Why don't you talk to them in person about how you never meant to hurt them? You can't choose who you love, and it was better to share your feelings rather than keeping them bottle up. Maybe things will get better, but you should just plan on moving on and focusing on other [platonic] friends. Never assume that this is your only shot at love; you will find someone.
While I understand where you are coming from in theory, it has been 33 years and this is the first person that I have ever trusted enough to take a chance. The only person I have been attracted to, and really the only person how has bothered to see the real me under the surface. I am open to it if it happens, but I don't think that it is likely. And I would love nothing more than to talk with them if they gave me the chance to do that. As far as spending time with other friends, well I do that when I feel like it. Mostly I just focus on doing what I love when I am not hurting too bad and trying to live as best I can.
If they feel the same way I do, I will be the happiest woman in the world. I guess I will just have to keep my fingers and toes crossed that things change for the better!
Sounds like this person just needs a bit of space for a while. Maybe send them a message that you still really want to be friends and you're happy to wait until they've had time to get over the shock of being told you like them that way. Let them know you're there and happy to talk it through with them when they are ready. I really hope things can be patched up between you.
Yeah I already did that. I am doing my best to give them space to work things out, and hoping for the best. I try to send good energy their way too.
Sadly, they decided that they just couldn't do it, but they gave me closure. I think we will still be friends though, so there is that. It will take me a while to get over this, but I will be ok. Love is something that has to be given freely and not held on to to be shared. My heart is a mess right now, but I still have my friend.
