I Know this isn't a proper forum to place non-LGBT things... but the people here have been so helpful with me in the past, forgive my transgressions... I don't really have anywhere else to turn. so I live with 5 other people in a house, 2 of which I am related to, 1 by blood(we'll call him Rob) 1 by marriage of said blood. Another roommate is an EX(we'll call her Janet) from my time spent as a guy, ever since coming out she has always been kinda iffy around me, The last roommate we'll call her Lexus. now I live in the basement portion of the house (It's kinda like two apartments) with 1 of the roommates, the others live upstairs. This morning I went upstairs(It was my parent's old home and I have been left in charge as the Land-lord since neither parent lives in the city). I went upstairs to see if Lexus had something I could use, she normally closes her door when she leaves, when I got upstairs her door was open, so I figured she was home (Lexus has a dog, this is important). I got to the threshold of her room, looked in and no one was in there. Janet asked me what I needed and I told her "nothing you could help with, thanks though"(she had Lexus' Dog in her room) so I returned downstairs and finished getting ready for work. and left the house around noon to catch the bus (cause I roll hard as an eco-warrior lol). I was at work until around 8, catching the bus it put me home at like 9:30 (Late nights most buses stop running and they merge them into one horrible bus ride). Around 10 pm Lexus texted me asking me Why I was in her room. I told her "I didn't go in there I though you were home since your door was open". She replied "I was not home, therefor my door was closed"... I responded "Well when I went up there it was open, Janet had your dog though so ask her"... After that Lexus berated and hurled text after text accusing me of stealing her things... This isn't the first time this happened, and I am often to point of blame when it comes to something missing, even though I Don't steal. I knew Janet was always out to backstab me, and this just proved it, she has probably set me up like this before (Once I knew she did but I thought it was a single time) But now despite my efforts everyone in the house seriously dislikes me, and it really hurts... to the point of suicidal thoughts again. I even over heard my Brother say he no longer considers me his sister... and for what? from the word of Janet... my own blood trusts her over me. They say they support me in being Transgender but it's hard... it's hard to be me and even harder to believe they do when every day it's something new for them to lay blame on me for. I would move out... but if I do We (my older Brother who lives in another city, and my parents) would risk loosing the house to disrepair and filth, as I am the only one whom tends to it in my little free time... and this also puts stress on me because it is all my parents have to give us when they pass (which maybe soon, God Forbid... as both of them suffer from different cancers) There is little I can do at this point in the night as My Father sleeps early like an old person despite being only 54, and my Mother can't be bothered by the added stress due to her chemo treatments.... I just don't know where to turn... or what to do... after tonight though... I can't sit idly by anymore... the Older brother wants to move in, but he seriously dislikes the younger brother & the roommates are also stopping him... since our Father is too kind to kick them out since "they have no where else to go"... and Maryland has extremely friendly Tenant laws making it very hard to evict people... gotta get a court order and a sheriff to serve them wait like 2 months... all these hoops... Sorry for the long, non-LGBT post... I am just at a loss... feeling very vulnerable, scared and in pain... Any advice would be great...
Well i don't know what to tell you to do. But i hope you feel better and that it all works out. Hugs(*hug*)
Gosh, I know what it's like living with people you do not get along with so you're not alone. I mean, I could easily say, "Be the bigger person and don't let them get under your skin." However, I am sure that it is quite difficult, especially when you're being accused of stealing. No one likes to be accused of something they did not do, and since this isn't the first time, I think it is time for you to put your foot down! I'm sorry to hear about your parents and they don't need to be put under any extra stress. So, I have to ask, is there anyway that you can handle the eviction process yourself? If not, then perhaps you can get the necessary paper work and go over it with your parents to start the process of eviction. There's only so much that one person can take and these people that you're living with are toxic people. It is most definitely time to show them where the door is because they have no respect for you or your feelings. And I'm sure you know that suicide is NEVER the answer to any problem that you're facing, so please hang in there. Things will get better once you remove these negative people from your life. After a hard day of work, I'm sure you'd prefer to come home to a peaceful place, not a place where there's constant hostility.
House meeting. Remind them you have been left in charge. Tell them they do not have to like you but they need to treat you with respect. Tell them all you have no problem evicting any one of them. Family or not. Tell your brother(s) to get off their asses and help with the upkeep of the family home. Don't let them see anything but a strong confident woman w/a "Not gonna take any more crap" attitude! I know it's scary but you can do it. You already found the courage to be who you are and to live your life in truth. You can do this!!! Hugs
That sounds so awful. I've never had to deal with a situation like that, but I've certainly had to deal with horrible house mates in the past and it can get so incredibly bad. What kind of lease do the other tenants have? Reading up about the tenancy laws in Maryland (and they are very tenant friendly, wow) there are different laws for occupants (no formal lease) and tenants (formal lease). If the tenant has a fixed term on the lease you should be able to give them a notice to vacate 60 days before the end of the lease term as you won't be renewing their lease - as landlord you get to choose which tenants you want to stay on and which you don't. Otherwise I think they count as a month-to-month lease holder and you will need to give them a notice that the lease will be ending at a set time and then 60 days before then you need to give them a notice to vacate. If they don't vacate when you've told them to, THEN you will have to go to court and the court will very likely rule in your favour as you gave them the appropriate notice. Occupants on the other hand have significantly fewer rights and you can eject them with much greater ease. In the past I've dealt with other tenants being awful through house meetings. One guy was smoking pot in his room (the house was no-smoking even for cigarettes) and didn't clean up after himself in the kitchen (or anywhere else) and eventually had to tell him through a house meeting that none of the other tenants wanted him to stay as he was breaching the lease with the smoking, implicating us in breaking the law if we didn't tell the police he had drugs and making the house un-liveable for others and that we wanted him to go. He went without us having to take any legal action. Another tenant was failing to pay rent and we were covering for her - eventually we had to tell her she needed to find somewhere else because we couldn't cover her rent, especially when we could see she was spending her money on fancy luxuries and not budgeting for rent. Again, she left without any legal action needing to be taken. Another house mate who was just an awful person was made to leave through a house meeting over their attitude towards the other tenants - we discussed the problems we had with them and that if they couldn't be civil we wanted them to leave - again, no legal action needed to be taken. They just left. It's possible that through a house meeting you could plant the idea to move out in the minds of the people you don't like and then they leave of their own accord. Especially seeing as it's your parent's house and the other tenants don't like you. I'd call a house meeting, tell everyone you're upset that they are accusing you of theft when you haven't done any such thing and that if they don't like you, suggest that they leave as there is another tenant waiting to move in. I'd also suggest bringing up the fact you do the majority of the cleaning and that you want a roster for cleaning drawn up because you don't have the time to do it all yourself and you certainly owe none of the other tenants any favours. It sounds like things can't really get worse for you so there's no harm in trying that route - especially if it means that they will move out of their own accord. Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck. It's so bad living with bad people. It can really destroy your whole life when you feel under attack at home. I really hope things get better for you, and fast.(*hug*)
