Depressed Hetero Male Seeking Advice on Lesbian ex Best Friend.

The only thing I can even remotely see as the problem is that she's upset that you've made her question her sexuality again. She probably struggled a lot to come to terms with her sexuality, and who she was. Now all of a sudden, she's faced with these questions of who she's attracted to again. She probably doesn't want to take on the blame herself, so she (very unfairly) pushes in onto you.

I don't know if there's any more you can do besides what you've already done. I applaud you, because it seems like you've shown understanding instead of getting hot-headed right off the bat. Remember, this isn't your fault. You did nothing wrong. Maybe just send her an e-mail, telling her exactly how you feel, that you're willing and open to talk about things. You can't force her to talk to you, but hopefully she'll come to terms with what's happened and begin to accept herself again.

 

I think she could be also upset with you that you had sex with her when she was drunk and she probably saw it as you taking advantage of her while she was drunk . Maybe that's how she saw it . If I were her not meaning anything against you I wouldn't sleep at a straight guy friend's house to be honest
Let me ask you a question was she drunk when you slept with you ?

 

I think Tetra can be onto something.

Think what you would feel you slept with one your best friend, a gay one, while you are drunk. You would probably question your sexuality and thrown out of your secure zone. And as you are straight, you could blame your gay friend for making you sleep with him. Because you are straight right? You can't make move on other dudes...

Hope that will give you an idea.

In short she might face the truth and come to her senses. However if she can make herself face you again... that I can't tell. Sometimes it is easier the blame and hate instead of taking responsibility of our action and face the truth.

 

I would be pretty mad if someone did that to me. Insinuating I raped them and trying to get me fired? Livid.

You're going to have to talk to her somehow though. An e-mail would probably be your best bet if she's avoiding you normally.

 

Not to be paranoid, but please be very careful about what you say in the e-mail. If this person is trying to get you fired, whatever you write in that e-mail is fair game.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if she's ashamed of having slept with you as it sounds like she was still technically in a relationship with her gf. It could be that she's worried things may come to light if you remain friends which would risk her relationship, so you got dropped.

Though hurt I wouldn't try to rekindle the friendship. How could you trust a woman who falsely accused you of rape AND got you fired? She's dangerous, unbalanced, selfish and not worth the time of day.

 

Totally agree with the above. I slept with my best male friend too, and felt weird about it the next day, but I never accused him of rape, or tried to get him fired. I'd have had a hard time legally saying that since I got on him, but even if he'd had initiated it, I could've tried to stop him or say no, or give him some indication that I didn't want to. We did have some wine, but I wasn't that drunk. Even if she was drunk, unless she was passed out stupor drunk, that's no excuse. The main difference though is neither of us were in a relationship with someone else, so she might be feeling guilty about that.

I knew my current BF back when I had a same sex relationship and there would've been no way I would've slept over with him at that time even though we were friends, even if there had been an attraction (which there wasn't for either of us at that time) I would never have lied to my partner to be with someone else, same sex or not. And having a relationship with someone you work with, someone whom your in charge of?

Do you really want someone who's done that to you, and might do something worse if you let it happen?

 

I completely agree with tetra on why should would be upset with you. However, crying rape is not ever acceptable and she crossed a serious boundary. If anybody should be apologizing it should be her. Without one it is probably better to just move on even though it may be hard. It will be for the best in the end.

 

Ummm Closure, do you have feelings, more than friendly ones for that lady?

I am asking this because if someone should try to accuse me with lowly crime like rape and cost me my job, only reason I would want to see them again is for punching them right in the middle of the face. No matter how close friends they were.

You seem like obsessed with her and it is not looks healthy. Sometimes it is better to let go. As long as she sees you as a mistake I think getting back together dreams are futile.

 

I totally agree with what White Knight said.

If I were you, I would run for the hills and put this all behind you. Feel lucky that she didn't attempt to press charges and you're not sitting behind bars.

 

Only about 3% of rapists are ever punished. If this guy did actually rape that woman his chances of being behind bars are pretty damn slim, and even if he were punished chances are he'd get what is essentially a slap on the wrist.

Remember:

A rape victim says "I was drunk" and it makes the assault her fault.

A rapist says "I was drunk" and suddenly he can't be held responsible for his actions.

Our society is full of double standards.

 

Plus why would you want a relationship with a woman like her she's a cheater she cheated on her girlfriend plus if she was with you she'll cheat on you . You and her girlfriend are better off without this woman . I feel sorry for the girlfriend in all this . In the first place I would never ever sleep over at a guy's house . This one of the reason's I"m glad I don't drink

 

Similar thing happened to me with my first boy friend. While we are on a vacation, he slept with my best friend. According to him he just scared and tried to prove himself that he is not gay. Tho his awesome masterplan kinda backfired as he didn't get an erection with her.

People do crazy things for most stupid reasons and in their weird logic it is all reasonable. To qoute Tiffani from Eating Out 2:

Just use it for every people.

 

What happened to you guys afterwards ? Man i would be so upset if a girl did this to me I'm not even gonna lie and the guy too . I just wouldn't talk to either of them