Friend Help!

Lets start with my current closet situation. I am only open to my family and a hand full of friends, but only open to those friends because of an incident at school. So there may be some friends that know I'm gay that I don't etc.

With this in mind, I was planning on going to the movies with a bunch of friends right after school last Friday on a whim. I suggested doing this to one of my friends, Brendan, during last period. He thought it was a good idea and texted a few people to ask. No one else was able to go though. I asked Brendan if he still wanted to go, and he said yes. When we get to the movies the next showing of the movie we want to see isn't for another 2 hours. Luckily this movie theater is in a outdoor mall. We go get some food from dunkin' donuts and talk for like 45 min. At random points while we were doing this Brendan started rubbing his knee against mine for an extended period of time not like an accidental thing. (We were sitting across from each other.) We go to another store and the same thing happens. (We like food so we hopped from eatery to eatery.) I don't know if he know I gay though so that makes this even more awkward. During this time we had many conversations about how he was going on a blind date with a girl the next day and Brendan would ask me about what to text her as they talked on their phone.

So kinda skeptical.

He talks about girls a lot. And I mean A LOT. He's always really desperate about getting a girl friend, and in the past I've had to calm him down when a girl he kinda liked got a boy friend.
Little background on him.

Ok the movie finally rolls around. We sit there normally for the first hour, (I kinda expected him to do the same thing.) When he doesn't I do it this time, and he doesn't move his leg away. I'd looked at is crotch before hand and didn't see anything but after I did this I saw what looked like a boner. He also started visibly shivering. (I could both see and feel it.) Nothing is said after and we just kinda continue on normally. Right before I dropped him off he said we should hang out again sometimes. Maybe something that doesn't cost so much like playing video games, probably at my house.

Based on Brendan's past though I am so confused. I've had a crush on Brendan for a while because he's so nice and kinda attractive, but had faced the fact that he is one of my straightest friends.
I was wondering if anyone here could shed some light on the situation. Thanks for your help in advanced.

 

Ok so a quick update I've gone to the gym and played video games with Brendan a couple times now but there are always at least one other friend there and I can't seem to get him alone. Does anyone have suggestions on how I could do this? I don't want it to sound like anything weird just in case but, how can I stop him from inviting other people?

 

Ok so we have plans to go to the movies again on Friday. (I work there so I get free tickets) but I'm worried that the same thing will just happen. Should I ask him about it or do you think he's not ready. Should I just try something and see his reaction? I'm kinda hoping something more happens this time. Something I go off of.

 

Yeah Brendan is wicked (my boston is showing) rapped up in his new girl friend completely baled on me today to go out with her. I think I mine as well give up on him. We literally only talk about his girl friend and all signs he's given me have disappeared. Its just really upsetting because this is the first girl friend he's ever had and has never acted this way and I didn't really expect it. I thought I finally had something going here.

Fml right?

Well whatever time to go cry and try and forget about Brendan. Lets see where my life of crushing on straight guys takes me next. Maybe I'll just wait until college. (not that I call control my crushes)

 

Quick update on my life. Well... this all happened in the last week.

Brendan is still going out with the same girl. Spends all his time with her and barely ever hangs out with me or any of his other friends anymore. He's been acting differently. He's super irritable and swears a lot more now, (though he says its just to me and one of our other friends.)

Since I'm graduating high School I've been trying to focus on the remained of school instead. I've got some AP tests coming I've been studying for. Though I still have obligations with other clubs. I was at a performance for my choir, the Spring Concert. Here we sing some songs then watch the other groups like the Orchestra and the band play from the audience. I was sitting next one of my friends from choir who is a sophomore. Now I've always found him attractive but never really hung out with him ever outside of school. Let's call him Tanner. Now Tanner starts doing the exact same thing Brendan did to me when we were out before going to the movies.

And I was all like O_O.

I retaliated and whatever and the concert ended. We never said anything of it. After though he kept following me around at the reception. So I'm not quite sure what to make out of that. I am going to see him tomorrow but, its just at a rehearsal so not much can happen.

A couple days later I'm playing cards against humanity with one of my friends and some of his friends. I hang out with these people once or twice a week outside of school. This one kid, Jacob, is like the only moderately attractive one of the bunch. (I think it's just how tall and muscular he is, and the adorable glasses he wears, I just really like glasses.)
He is like the most masculine of any of us. (Wow sexism alert) he's a really good mechanic, and goes to the gym all the time. Anyway I'm sitting next to him on the couch. Kinda close to him cause we are playing on a small table. I kick my shoes off because I was like, "I'm in doors." He then starts to do something similar to what Tanner and Brendan did, but this time since we weren't wearing shoes it involved much more feet. He started caressing my foot with his and would position his leg so pretty much from the knee down our legs were touching. He put his arm around me whenever I did something stupid, like not knowing what a word meant (which is completely out of character,) and whenever it was his turn to choose from the selected cards, (I don't know if you all know how to play this game but its like apples to apples but dirty,) he'd put the card on his thigh so I'd have to grab it off when I won.

This one got me the most because it happened for a much longer time as well as involving much more touching. I also see Jacob more regularly than most of my own friends.

Jacob is a very direct person so I was thinking about straight up asking him when I picked him up to hang out with the rest of his friends on Wednesday. (I'd pick him up first of all of the friends since he lives pretty close to me.) I think this because part of me feels like doing that is the only way that anything will happen, but the other part of me feels that would be a bad idea, making things awkward and ruining our new friendship.

He is not open as gay, at least to my knowledge, so do you think I should wait and see what if he does anything further or says something when he's ready? Or should I talk to him about it? I really don't know what to do.

Okay so maybe not all that quick of an update sorry for the long post. Here's a hug to cheer you up after my deceit. (*hug*)

 

I don't really have any questions I just want to write about this. It feels like I actually have someone to talk to.

So it's been a while since the last time I posted about the happenings, and a lot has happened. Nothing ever came of Tanner which was as expected but Brendan broke up with his girl friend and he's back to his normal self. But his normal self is the same as before. We went to another movie and he was leaning his arm against mine on our shared arm rest. This eventually led to leaning on each other shoulder to shoulder. There was nothing really more than that.

We went out shopping once and while our other friends went to grab food we went into Sears. We were measuring clothes up to each other and it was actually kinda fun. Kinda felt like a date even though it only lasted 20 min. Longest date I've ever had with a guy anyway. :lol: Overall he is a lot more pleasant to be around, one of his best qualities is that he always talks about hanging out when we are older. Going to bars, taking trips to Europe. It just makes me feel good that even if nothing happens with him, he plans on always being friends.

But that's not the only thing that happened. Jacob is still in the picture. I never hang out with either of them together but, I often hang out with just Jacob. At the gym anyway. That's it. Nothing really happens there since there are so many other people. But I would be mentioning him if something didn't happen. I was over his house and under the table he kept caressing my foot with his. I haven't been really hanging out with him besides the gym but I was thing of inviting him (and a couple other friends) over for a gaming night/sleep over and see if anything happens there.

Thank you for listening to me rant about my life. I've been continuing to try and ramp up the "flirtatiousness" and the touching but realized I'm never the one to initiate it so if anything give me suggestion on that, but I don't really having any direct problems right now. I just kinda felt like sharing. Writing it done and letting all you people know has really helped me out a lot about this and I just wanted to let you know how much it means to me to have a community like this to share to. Thank you. (&&&)