Hi I think I might developed some feeling toward my underaged friend, and know I don't know what to do. He moved to my town 3 years ago, and I got to know him through my friends. He's usally around when I'm out with my other (old) friends. So I've got to know him pretty well, especily in the last year. The problem is that he was much younger than I first expected, and I am crushing on him. He could easily go for a 16-17, so I was supprised to know that he was only 15 years old. I am very often mistaken for being a 18 years old myself, even thought I recently filled 20. It's not the first time I am crushing on somebody, but my crushes use to fade after some months, even weeks. But with these guy my feeling just become stronger for each month that passes, which scares me. With all other people I've fallen for I have lost interest because there always had been some disconnections at the emotional level. Like I had to convince myself that my crush felt the same way, even if my heart kind of knew that I hold my hopes up too high. But with this new guy I just feel something I never felt, or should feel for that matter. All the crushes I've got have been based on either looks or certain similarities in personally, but this is the first time I have fallen for all of the personality of a person, the good and false. And I feel like he is the first one that's really understands me, and actually cares for me. I know that I would have fallen for him independent of his age. Because he is the first person I can't seem to get bored with, and which always idolize the smallest things I do. I have tried my best to keep a friendly distance to him, but he always keep himself close to me. And after some time I started to give in for his pushingness, and know I always want to have him near me. I know I should be disturbed that I have developed feeling for a 15 years old who has clinged himself on me, but in a sick way I am really enjoing myself. Mostly because we both seem to really understand each other, and dispite our age difference he seem to be very old or grown up for his age, not in every single way, but at some points. I know I won't act on my feeling, not as long as he is under 18, so I don't need any bashing on that, so please don't. But I feel sorry for him because he don't have any very close friends besides me, and I have grown to feel like he is one of my very the best friends. So how should I handle this? Should I feel bad. And if I still love him in three years from know, what do I do then? I never got so fast close to someone, and what do I do if our friendship have evolved into something more by the time he pass18? So please help me, and feel free to ask if somethings unclear. Thanks for reading my messed up situation.
It sounds like you are becoming more and more emotionally attached to this person, and I understand how frustrating this must be considering the age different. Odd enough, five years seem like a lot when someone goes under the term 'a teen', but when the person is 20 and is with someone who is 25, it doesn't seem like a big of a deal (the world is odd). Actually, I know a person who is 20 and in a relationship with someone who is 30, but they are both very mature and love each other, and those around them isn't bothered by it. The reason for why I am saying this, is because you should not feel disturbed by having feelings toward someone that is 15, probably soon 16. It is normal that you have feelings for someone regardless of their age, and 15-20 isn't a that big of a deal if you are both mature about (well, to me it isn't a big of a deal). What I am more curious about is, does he share the same feelings as you do? Does he give any hints about wanting to be in a relationship?
^ Agreed with Villo I'm 17 and I've liked guys that are 14 before. I don't think it's a problem, but I think you should let HIM make any kind of move. Do you know if he likes you back yet? I've heard this scenario is common; when a younger boy hangs out a lot with an older guy. Sometime's it's because they just want a father figure and a friend, other times it's because they have sexual or romantic feelings for the older person. You need to know which of these two is the case here. Can you be in a relationship? I think so. You might need to keep it private for a while, but just hang out with him away from other people. Please let us know how it goes
Looks like you're going to have to wait until he's 18. Until then, you guys can grow closer emotionally. But don't feel so bad about liking him, since he looks older than he is. He sounds like he's worth the wait.
It's really hard to tell if he is into me or not, because of his age. I mean, at 15 I was very awere of how I interacted with people I felt for, but that dosen't mean that he is awere of his actions towards me. He haven' told me explicite, but he seem to be needy of me, and sit pretty close when watching movies. But the real reason I think there is something is because he always treat me so nice, and always comes to my side no matter what. But it is really great to here that I am bot mental because of this. I know his parents too, so feel like I can't talk to him about this, but is there any way I can test the waters without being to explicite? ---------- Post added 23rd Mar 2014 at 02:22 PM ---------- The issue is that I havn't had any romantic or sexual feelings towards him, atleast not until recently. I think I've got these feeling after he become more touchy with me. I havn't tried to get into his personal space, but still it seem to happen very often lately But anyway I won't rush anything until he is at age.
It's a difficult question to answer, since the whole 'testing the waters' is not an easy thing to do without it being to obvious. You could for instance, when watching a movie, try to cuddle up with him? I mean, you said he sits pretty close to you, so during the movie you could try to move closer to him and see how he reacts. If he appears to be uncomfortable by you getting to close, then move away. If he doesn't seem to mind, and perhaps move closer to you as well - Then let it slide and evantually cuddle up against each other. There are not specfic ways to figure out how he feels about you, it depends on the situation which only you can judge. I hobe this gave you an idea on what to do ^.^
Thanks for the advice, I will sure give it a better try. This far I had succseed in "cuddle" him, last week when we watched movies. So maybe I should test this more out, but as subtle as possible since he's still under age, of course. But I am a hopeless when it comes to all my past crushes, so if he like me is there a chance it would last? I mean, is it possible that crushes goes away with age? Ugh, I am so lost when it comes to love...
Well, he's only 15 as you've said. I was that 2 years ago, and I've matured and changed a lot in those two years. So yes, a lot of things can happen as people age, but it is a constant thing, it is not something that will stop once you reach a certain age. But you sound like a person who cares a lot about those people around him, and as I can see in your replies, you are being very careful and subtle because of your emotions towards this guy, which is sweet and thoughtful. A lot of guys ( and girls for that matter ) want to be with someone like that, so the chances of a lasting relationship is 'higher', but still - It is not something I can say for sure, since I do not know him or you. Do what you feel like is the right thing to do, and try to see where it goes. That's probably the best thing you can do for now.. And pay attention to his reactions!
