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Scared shitless!! Recently came out - Dating a guy for first time

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by canadaman, Mar 23, 2014.

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  1. canadaman

    canadaman
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    I came out of the closet to my close friends and immediate family about a month and a half ago (I'm in my twenties)...As many of you can I'm sure relate it has been an overwhelming month in many ways. Overall the change to my life from coming out has been good!

    I started dating this guy a little over two weeks ago - I had no intention on dating anyone any time soon I just wanted to have fun - if ya know what I'm sayin :wink: I thought oh what will one cup of coffee hurt?! I feel like things are moving along really quickly and I can tell that we are both starting to have feelings for each other...I spent this past entire weekend with him and I am feeling overwhelmed with it all....I haven't been in a real relationship with anyone and the fact that I am starting to have feelings for a guy is scary to say the least (not that I have a problem with the fact that I like a guy but it's just new and scary). I also feel very self conscious sexually because I have a very slight body image problem that I need to get over...I have something on my penis called fordyce spots which are harmless skin coloured bumps and not contagious and are apparently common in most men - even though they aren't an STD I am self conscious about them and don't want to have to explain them - He hasn't noticed them yet....

    Part of me wants to run for the hills and get away from this potential relationship because it's scary but part of me wants to see what happens because I don't want to screw this up - He is an amazing guy!

    What should I do??
     
    #1 canadaman, Mar 23, 2014
  2. AKTodd

    AKTodd
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    If you run for the hills, you may spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been. If you stick with this potential relationship and see where it goes, there is a finite chance you may get hurt. But there is also a finite chance you could end up in a loving relationship with someone and find that it's a really wonderful situation to be in.

    The rest of the issues you raise about body image and fordyce spots would have been with you whether you ever met this guy or not and will be with you no matter what you do going forward. As such you should spend some time on dealing with the first and being comfortable explaining the second, because you're going to have to eventually.

    My vote would be to stick around and see what happens.

    Todd
     
    #2 AKTodd, Mar 23, 2014
  3. Will2M

    Will2M
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    ^ seconded
     
    #3 Will2M, Mar 23, 2014
  4. Relativity

    Relativity
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    I know it will take a while to feel comfortable about it, but really, please don't worry about these. As you said it is very common. I'm actually a little surprised that you haven't found any on him.
     
    #4 Relativity, Mar 28, 2014
  5. NoClue

    NoClue
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    Canadaman,

    Dont worry! Congrats on coming out, it is a great personal accomplishment. While it is intense, celebrate the fact that you did it!

    See where this relationship takes you. Don't stress too much. If you feel overwhelmed, tell him so. Explain that you're new to this and need some adjustment.

    As for the bumps, it's fairly normal and if you feel self concious, just be upfront with him. It's not a big deal.

    Aktodd is right!

    Hope all works out!
     
    #5 NoClue, Mar 28, 2014
  6. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    Ride the rollercoaster and enjoy it!
     
    #6 PatrickUK, Mar 28, 2014
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