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Help !! my bestfriend is deeply in love with me

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Otaku, Mar 25, 2014.

  1. Otaku

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    a few hours ago while i was about to sleep , my Bff (the first person i came out to ) called me and told me that she was going to end her days , and that she already had several pills (it was her father's heart medicine) ... I paniced !! i told her she "what the **** are you thinking for doing something like this !! " and told me that life isn't worth it since no one loves her and the only man she loves won't ever love her , so i kept calming her down until she went and threw up (sorry for the disgusting details) . after she did it i told her to go sleep because it was already late and that we'd better talk IRL and she hang up .

    A few minutes later she called me again , and told me that she loves me A LOT , and that she knows that i can never fall for her and that's why she decided to take her own life , i was shocked , extreemly shocked , i didn't know what to tell , i even lost my ability to speak , it took me a few minutes to get over the shock , then i told " You know that we're friends , no , BEST FRIENDS , and you know about my sexuality , then how did you even fall in love with me ? how could your brain let your heart do that ? " and she told that even if she's well aware of everything she still fell for me and that she wasn't really about to get over it , afterwards i told her that she should end her days for something like this , and that she knows that i can't love her in that way , she told me that it's okay and then she hang up .

    A few minutes later (AGAIN !! ) she called me , and started asking me some weird questions like "if i were to cut my hair and dress like a boy will you fall in love with me ?" , i told her that i can't choose who to love , if it's gonna happen , then i'll tell you about it , and she was like "then should i go through a sex change operation ? i think it'll give me more chances to be with you , but there the probleme of my height , do you like short boys ?" ... i told her " what are you even talking about ?!! you really want to change your life like that , for someone who you love , and who might not love you even if you do it ?" , she told me " why won't you love , i'll be a man , that's what you're into , right ? then why ? " i told her "I CANT CHOOSE WHO TO LOVE ! it doesn't happen that way ! " ... and she told me that it was okay if she wasn't my type because i'm not her type and she still deeply loves me ... i couldn't really deal with this on phone , it was too frustrating , so i told her that we'll talk tomorrow and then i went to sleep .

    And here she comes again with the 4th phone call , just 5 minutes after we hung up the phone ... she ask me if i was gonna fall in love with her and told me to answer with a yes or no ... i said No ... and she told me that it's okay and that we should really talk about this anymore , and she hang up ... Then she called me , in tears , and told me that she shouldn't have gave me the choice , she immediatly after saying that started laughing , and told me that that's what she's gonna do , she's not gonna give me a choice anymore , and that she'll make me fall in love with her , wether i want it or not , i told her the answer will still be no , and she said that she doesn't care ,and that she'll make me fall for her , i told her we should talk about this at the univesity , and i hang up .

    So , what should i do ? i know that there's no way i'll fall in love with her , but i need to tell her something to make her understand it in a way that she wouldn't try to end her days again , I have to meet her in the univesity in 2 hours , please help !!
     
  2. White Knight

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    It is a hard situation you are into.

    You can ask her if she can fall in love with a girl? Maybe that will help her understand situation a bit better.

    Sorry can't think anything else now.
     
  3. Otaku

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    i've actually already asked her that (before this talk ) , and she said that yes it could happen and that she's even open to that idea ... so if i ask her again she'll say the same thing and it wouldn't help me much
     
  4. wanderinggirl

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    Wow. This isn't even about her being a girl is it; like, unrequited love is a bitch regardless of gender. I think she's in a lot of pain though, and doesn't feel loved. I think you guys should talk it out in person and not on the phone at night after a suicide attempt.

    You need to let her know that you care, but I think that you also shouldn't feel like you have to be the sole bearer of her pain. Contact other friends. Get her out of the house. Get someone else to get her out of the house.

    I once was flirting back and forth with a guy back in high school, and one night online he told me he was suicidal and wanted to end it that night. I didn't know what to do, nothing I said would help. He just had to know I cared and he needed time to calm down, and the mood passed and he was okay. But I told him i couldn't do it anymore, maybe I was selfish but suicide was more than I had bargained for. His friends were there for him during subsequent suicide attempts; he will never fully outrun his demons, but thanks to his support network he made it through a lot of rough patches. My point is, if she really is suicidal, she may need professional help. And you may need help getting her through these episodes.

    If it's a one-time thing though, maybe you just need to give her time to heal, and be compassionate in the meantime.
     
  5. Ettina

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    I think she sounds like she has some serious psychological problems. I mean, plenty of people gets sad when they love someone who doesn't love them back, but most people won't contemplate suicide or a sex change operation over it.

    Can you encourage her to get into counseling?
     
  6. Otaku

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    Probleme solved ._.
    we talked about it these past couple of days and i managed to solve it ... she told me that she won't attempt to end her days again as long as i'm her friend , and she told me to forget about her love confession and that she'll get over it .
     
  7. charmander

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    I'm also in this situation, The best thing to do is keep them concentrated on the happy thoughts and keep the subject off you two