recently as some of you know I came out as gay to my family a while ago, most of them were fine with it, even my mother, but recently I overheard her talking to my dad and her making homophobic comments about me, when I heard these I was really upset as she said she was fine with it. a few weeks later one of my brothers and sisters did the same towards me and my mam took their side(agreeing with them) now she won't talk to me and she can't even bare to look at me she is making me feel worthless :icon_sad: why is she doin this? what did I do wrong? what should I do about this? why won't she come to terms that I like guys and not girls.
Unfortunately I have zero experience with this, so I hope someone else can respond with advice. Although, on other threads I've heard that sometimes family come around with time... It's possibly that they were surprised initially, and so just didn't say anything, but are struggling now that it's sunk in. If she says anything directly to you, tell her you don't appreciate it coming from the person who's supposed to love and support you.
You could ask her if she has any questions or tell her you don't feel she's actually "fine" with it as she claims. Don't try to avoid the subject because that will let things fester; just try to go about your life as if your sexuality was just a normal part of you (because it is or should be!).
I took the advice and went straight up to her and asked her what her problem was, and she said she can't accept it as it does not seem right to her, she always imagined me marrying a blonde woman and having a few kids and she just can't stand the fact im attracted to men and not women. I keep telling her I have no choice over my sexuality but she won't believe that, she is like why cant you be like your other brothers which hurt me abit as it seem's she prefers them over me :icon_sad: As soon as I turn 18 I just plan on moving out and not talk to her and some of my brother's and sister's again.
Urgh. That's horrible... Why do parents have these f*cking "ideal fantasy" of how their kids' lives are going to be... It's you're life, not hers. I'm really sorry you're going through this. Keep pushing her and tell her it's not your choice and it's unfair that her love for you is conditioned by something like that.
Thank you WhiteShadows, you are right it's my life She can shove her love away from me as I don't want to know her anymore, I am finally happy being gay after year's of denying it to myself and i'm not gonna let her make me feel ashamed of myself. I can finally admit I like guys and I wanna spend the rest of my life with a guy that I love I am Gay and PROUD :icon_bigg
Don't push her completely away, but still keep in touch. Moving out will be good for your independence and just being a normal adult, but you should try to visit her some times.
Good for you! ^_^ I would actually ignore Resu's advice and, if viable, stay independent and separate from your family till they reconcile and apologize -- if that is what you wish. People tend to see just how awful they really are when people they've hurt no longer wish to associate with them.
When your mother realizes she will lose you if she can't accept you her attitude may change. It's nice to have a mother in your life but not everyone does. Best wishes for you.
