I'm out but not too happy. I feel bad if I ever find a guy attractive or if I ever have the slightest crush on a guy. I try to ignore those feelings like I'm still in denial. I have bean starting to get a crush on a friend who I think is straight. By think I mean the smallest talk of gayness bothers him like crazy and he has bean hitting on this girl for a year. It is annoying. 1. How do I get over the smallest crush on a straight friend? 2. How do I make it so I don't find it awkward if I find a guy attractive?
You sound kind of like I did a few weeks ago when I first admitted to myself that I am bisexual. I was so used to denying sexual thoughts related to women that anytime I had those thoughts my mind made a sharp U-turn, like "NOPE! Can't think like that!". I found that forcing my mind to make another U-turn and reevaluate what I was thinking really went a long way in helping me overcome this. I know it can be difficult, but anytime you find yourself denying your feelings, stop right away and analyze why, then determine if the feelings have a logical basis. For example: If you feel ashamed when you get aroused by seeing a naked guy and look away, immediately turn back around and ask yourself why you feel ashamed. Is it logical to be ashamed of how you were born? Can you do anything to change it? If the answer is no, then simply acknowledge the feelings and let them go, feeling only the arousal and not the shame. Hope this helps. (*hug*)
