Hi my name is Isabel. I am planning on coming out to my family but I'm scared. Ihave been thinking of the scenarios that could happen. The only problem is that a lot of my family is strongly against it. They make rude comments on LGBT couples. I have told my sister I am bi but she said to wait till I'm older to make that decision. I think my dad would be ok with it but my mom is abusive and I'm afraid to tell her. My grandmother already told me she will disown me if I am lesbian. I have no support except from my friends. The only people I can talk to about this is y friends mom because she is lesbian. It is hard hiding this from them. I need help. I'm so afraid that I have cried myself to sleep many nights over this. I need help. Advice?:tears:
I would like to HOPE your sister was looking out for your best interests and just said the wrong thing, but either way ignore her. You know as well as anyone else that your sexuality isn't a decision you can make, it's just a thing that is there inside of you. You don't have control over it. My immediate thoughts are these. 1. If you MUST tell someone, tell your dad. 2. Before you tell your family, talk to your mums friend. She ought to understand what you are going through right now, and it's always good to have an ally you can run to. 3. To hell with your grandmother, it's her loss not yours. I am deadly serious about this. Do not feel bad if she disowns you, SHE is in the wrong here not you. 4. I'm worried about your use of the phrase "my mom is abusive", what exactly do you mean by this? One more thing I will say and then I will leave you to read the response. Being completely realistic, how different will your life be if you weren't hiding your orientation? What I mean by this, is that I can count the things I would do differently on one hand if I came out as pan to my family. 1. Date someone who isn't male At a push I might add: 2. Make a comment about how pretty a girl is (I should note here that if you switch the genders around in the above examples, you have a working example from before I came out as trans!) I mean I can't think of anything else that would apply to ME. Perhaps you can think of more. The reason I bring this up is because unless I was actually going to go and date someone, I really have no need to tell them and it really wouldn't be that hard to hide. FOR ME. Please understand I'm not saying the same applies to you, I'm just wondering what difference coming out RIGHT NOW is going to make in your life.
I came out to my dad under the circumstances and he wasn't all too happy he was confused and is probably trying to deny it
