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i'm not sure what to put here.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by capsuleconduct, Mar 28, 2014.

  1. capsuleconduct

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    hello there. i'm in a bit of a bad way at the moment. i'm genuinely sorry for the post, if it's long or irritating or whatever, i'm not sure how to do this by myself.
    wow, now that i'm at this point in my life where i'm asking for advice, i don't know how to go about asking for it! i'm sorry, excuse my asdfghjkl-ness, i feel really broken up right now.
    so to put my situation simply, i'm absolutely irrevocably in love with this girl. just so immersed. :bang: when i'd heard others speak of love, i thought it was all stupid, but now that i'm on the other side of the rope, i've realized that the reason i thought it was stupid was because it wasn't explained properly to me, this whole concept. that would be because it's unexplainable. i'd do absolutely anything for this girl. my whole being just exudes with adoration for her. it almost hurts, this devotion, ughughughughugh. alright, i'm sorry again, i'll stop with this whole explanation thing. on to the main event.
    i've adored this girl for 3 years but it was a mindless crush sort of thing, back of my mind, didn't think about it too much. it didn't take up my days. as of the end of december in 2013, i'd begun seriously talking to her. we'd become fast friends, spent new years together and i realized that i really, really loved spending time with her. we basically acted like a couple and spending time with her was like floating on a cloud.
    every day i felt like i was getting closer to her heart and that one day i'd open the door to it and bury myself in her. i thought she'd want that as well, she acted the same way towards me. i'd just look her in the eye and she'd look at me the same way. just so beautiful.
    it's just that.. so many people i know are in love with her. they've been in love with her longer than i have. i feel so inadequate, as if my love isn't valid, even though i know i could be the best to her. i would give her my all. and i want to be the best friend that i can be as well, so i let them talk to me about their unrequited love and how they love her so much and how she'll never love them back.
    she's the only thing that's been on my mind for the past few months. we spent so much time together, and she's the most brilliant human being i've ever had the pleasure of associating with. she says she cares about me so much.
    now you're probably wondering what the problem is.
    i've been contemplating making it official because we basically were a few weeks ago. the thing is, she's very affectionate towards me, but she's also very affectionate towards her guy friend. she had a get together and got drunk and they made out and she tried to sleep with him. this was two weeks ago. they've been so affectionate lately, and her affections towards me have slowly begun lessening. it just. it sucks so much, because my feelings are only growing twofold every day. i can't help it. i've talked to some of her friends and they've said she does this to people. not on purpose or anything, it's just that she's a flirt and she's lead people on, they love her and she never loves them back. i don't want to be that, but unfortunately i am. i thought we connected on another level and i could honestly picture our future, but it's fine. i'm just wondering if you guys had any advice on how to get over her, anything. i need this, so anything at all. it's appreciated. thank you. <3