My boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago. It was not a mutual breakup and my ex broke up with me. I have been heartbroken and am slowly recovering from this difficult breakup. My ex knew that he had hurt my feelings and after our breakup I didn't hear anything from him for about 2 months and I didn't make any contact myself. A little over a month ago, I made contact via IM to deescalate things and he replied right away saying that even an I hate you message would be better than silence, and I told him that I obviously didn't hate him. He said he really hopes I didn't but couldn't blame me if I had hated him and we went about a polite and non intimate but lengthy message exchange catching up on what we have been up to since the breakup. My ex ended the message exchange saying it's late and that he's going to bed and said if it's OK we'll chat tomorrow adding that he's glad I sent him a message. Never heard anything back since, and also never received any wishes for my birthday which happened to be a couple weeks ago. I'm not looking to get back with him but wondering if there's anything else I should do at this point to rekindle a connection or leave this as is and let him make an effort. Was I too nice for getting in touch and easing his guilt?
The fact that he's so nonchalant, didn't pay attention to your birthday, and hasn't been terribly consistent is further support (to me, at least) that he isn't terribly interested in maintaining any sort of ongoing connection with you. It sounds like he's started to move on, and I think your best choice would probably be to do the same. As much as you probably want neat closure, in reality, we often don't get that, so I think you'd probably be best to just move on and let it be as it is.
