So I've been feeling off/depressed most of the day, mostly self esteem issues and I decided to message my bf about it, would have called but I'm in Rome at the moment and he's in LA. So instead of getting some support or I love you, I get this: I feel so shitty after this, I just want to cry and I feel worse. I'm always there for him when he is having problems, like with his roommate or mom which are rather frequent. But he obviously can't be bothered to be there for me. I seriously want to punch him at the moment. I told him we really need to talk on Monday when I'm back in LA, not sure how that will go since we also need to talk about our lackluster sex life.
Don't feel bad about yourself I see why you are annoyed by your boyfriend, considering, as you said, that you are always supporting him when he is having an issue, but that he couldn't be bothered to be there for you. But try not make any fast conclusions, maybe he was unsure on how to respond? Sometimes when people tell me about their problems I am not sure how to respond, and I end up saying just something, in an attempt to show my support, but it does not always go that way. So when he gets back on monday you can just tell him how you feel and that you'd appreciate more support from his side. I hope things will work out between you two, and please do not feel bad. Be happy! ^.^ *Hugs*
The way to resolve this is to have a conversation with your boyfriend about the fact that you sometimes don't feel comfortable with certain things about your looks. Remember- you can't expect people to react in a certain way or read your mind, and most importantly, you can't snap at your boyfriend or criticize him for not meeting your expectations. What you can and should do is open up, take the risk and share whatever things you feel are important for you and let him know exactly how he can make you feel better.
Chatting through facebook is always a little "cold". And Villo may be right, maybe he was just unsure on how to respond?
Hey Jared, Just to let you know... You're not fat and you're not ugly. You have amazing blue eyes, and if I were 40 or 50 years younger, you'd have had me at "hello." And you may think glasses make your head look too small, but I think they make you look even cuter. So there! This has nothing to do with your boyfriend, of course... This post is simply one person's attempt to tell you how he thinks you look. Take it as you will... (*hug*)
Hi Jared, I'm certainly no expert on relationships but perhaps thinking a few things through before proceeding might help expand your mind. 1) What response were you expecting? "No, you're wrong, you're beautiful"? If so, then has your boyfriend developed a habit of not responding as you had hoped or is this a rare occurrence? 2) As others have said, could his lack of support be twisted from FaceBook? My fiance and I despise FaceBook-- we've gotten into hiccups due to the miscommunication that happens there. And as they say, 70%+ of all communication is nonverbal. I hope it all goes well and you feel happy with whatever choice you pursue.
Hey Jared, For what it's worth, I will echo what StillAround told you, it's easy to feel bad about ourselves sometimes, for all of us. I read what your BF wrote back, and I find that he probably didn't know how to react. I am a volunteer "listener" on the gay hotline here in Montreal, we often get IM's from people who feel the same as you. From what I read, I think your BF actually did the right thing, he showed sympathy with the smileys, he asked you an open-ended question, I truly think he was trying to be there for you but probably didn't know how to do it any better. FB or texting is the least effective way to have feelings come across, I much prefer receiving a phone call at the hotline than I do the IMs, I just get so much more information from the tone of voice the pace and the words as they are spoken. Be kind to him when you return to him, I really do think he only meant well when he responded to you.
I would have liked him to say something like "I think you're cute/attractive etc...", I honestly can't remember the last time he said something that even implied that he thought I was attractive, which kinda has been bugging me. He also never initiates sex so I'm beginning to feel like he doesn't find me attractive. I'm probably reading too much into it or overreacting. We definitely need to talk about it though when I see him tomorrow. And yeah I agree that Facebook isn't the best communication method, but it was pretty much the only option last night as I'm out of the country with crappy internet, so calling would be expensive since I can't get a VOIP to work Thanks for the advice everyone, I'll definitely try to not be too upset with him when I get back, it helps that I'll have had a few days to calm down too
