I'm falling in love with a friend and I'm not sure about what I should do... I met him this year; he's a really nice person and also very handsome. I'm 16, he's 15 and we study at the same class. He doesn't know that I'm gay and I'm not sure if he's, but I think I've got some strong reasons to believe in that like, besides me, all his other friends at our class are girls, actually, he doesn't talk to the other boys. He never talked to me about girls; I tried once, I said that one girl we both know was into him and he was like 'she's cool...'. He never had a girlfriend and I'm pretty sure he didn't even date anyone ever and, as I already said, he's very beautiful and also intelligent; he could date almost any girl he knows, but he couldn't care less about it. One of our friends already told me she thinks he's gay and I didn't even ask her about that, she just said it. Once I saw one girl asking him about his sexuality and he just didn't answer her. He's also very vain about his hair, he dresses up really nice and these kind of stuff, you know... I was getting pretty sure that he was gay till someday we were talking, I was thanking him for something he did for me and I said he was a very cool guy and he was like 'I know, but I prefer to hear it when it comes from girls'. I mean, he wasn't serious, actually he was laughing, but I don't know if he was just kidding or trying to tell me something, cuz I never even tried to touch his hand, I just try to be cool to him, you know... I was planing to tell him that I'm gay, but I'm afraid of what could happen, I don't know... He really means something to me right now and I don't want him to run away. I don't think he's homophobic, but he really cares about what people say and think of him. I just don't know how to deal with this situation and I was hoping someone could help me with some advice. =]
Sounds like a closet case to me. I've known several guys who fit this description quite well, and would come out eventually. But he's still young, it could take years. Many people on this site don't come out (even to themselves) until they're in their 20s, and some wait even longer. With that said, if he's gay, I'm not saying he'll wait for that long, and as his friend you can certainly be a positive influence. I'm not sure about the best way to help a 15 year old come to terms with his sexuality, as I believe this is something that has to come from within. You could start by continuing to be his friend and developing your friendship, maybe try to get his opinion on LGBT rights, and when the time is right, come out to him.
Hey thanks for answering! I know the process of realizing and accepting can be quite tricky if he's really gay and I don't wanna rush him or even pressure him, but I think i'll try to do what you said. I really appreciated your reply, thanks again. =]
I've got some news, guys... So, I was trying to tell him that I was gay, but he always thought I was kidding even when I kept telling him that I wasn't. Later on, I tried to be very clear about it and he seemed to believe in it and I asked him if he'd never had doubts about his sexuality and he was rude to me and started talking about girls since then... Nothing nasty like other boys do all the time, but it really annoys me cuz, before talking to him about girls was like a girl talking about another... Yesterday I convinced him to say the size of his dick and he was like 'but doing that would be gay', so I said to him 'it only would be gay if you asked me the size of mine', so he told me and I really wasn't expecting that, cuz he's not the kind of guy who likes to talk about that stuff... There was this one day when I asked him about porn actresses, he said he didn't care about names, but he told me 2 names, which really surprised me.. And even after that conversation of me asking about the size of his dick and me telling him so many times that I'm gay, he said he actually doesn't fully believe in that. I've been getting really close to him and I found out he knows about every girl who is into him, but he just doesn't take advantage of that; he just keeps playing games with them, pretends to care, but I know he really doesn't give a damn! Actually, once he said it was fun.
so I just found out he's has been talking about girls that actually don't even exist and I really don't know what to do. =[
He's young and probably insecure. You can't force him to accept his sexuality. I presume you didn't come out as soon as you had same-sex attractions? So you should understand how he feels.
